Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord … Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it ~ Ephesians 5:22-25.
Preamble:
There are many couples out there these days, who seem to be in perpetual emotional pain because of certain agonizing marital issues that show up in their relationships, including problems associated with faulty family foundations. Theyfight continually, or live separate lives; some couples even live together only on paper, not in spirit, soul and body.
These harrowing experiences are most noticeable in marriages plagued with crass ignorance of how to tackle the common challenges of marital life. It’s essential that we know what the will of God is if we are to excel in His glorious plan for our homes and destinies.
Marriage is not an “achievement”, like buying a house or earning a certificate. You can’t just “own it” once and then continue to reap “the benefits” for a lifetime. You must continually pay the “rent” by yielding to God’s wisdom and keeping yourself in top shape — spiritually, physically and mentally. You must be Christ-centered in everything, consistently allowing His Word to rule in your homes.
Happy, healthy, glorious and harmonious lifelong marriages don’t just happen, neither can they be willed into existence by wishful thinking. They’re usually worked out, and built on the solid foundation of God’s Word and continuously spiced with the virtues of true love, submission, respect and mutual forgiveness (Philippians 2:12-13).
How To Maintain a Good Family Relationship
In Ephesians 5:17-33, the apostle Paul sends an uncompromising message to all believers who wish to enjoy good and godly marital relationships, that they should choose to be wise in understanding the will of God for their unions.
It’s not always easy to recognize what is best for us, andthat’s why we must learn to rely on God’s wisdom and be sensitive to the Voice of the Holy Spirit, if our marriages are to become what they were made to be.
Naturally, relationships take effort. Even the best relationships can have tough times occasionally. If you don’t put in the right efforts, you might get stuck in unhappy scenarios that can leave both husband and wife feeling miserable. However, when you combine your efforts to rescue your home from the prying eyes of evil, you’ll make it through.
Marital conflicts can be very challenging. Where God’s wisdom is not applied, small issues can quickly become big problems. Nevertheless, a simple, wise and godly approach can help the couple to get through, and can even strengthen their relationship in the process.
Disagreements in homes shouldn’t be about who is right or wrong. In a good and godly home, the husband and the wife are fused together to become one (Mark 10:7-9). Thus, disagreement isn’t the husband versus the wife, or vice-versa, but the two against the problem.
Misunderstanding shouldn’t even be about the hurting issues, but about the opportunity for the couple to grow stronger together and prioritize their relationship, to the glory of God.
Submit one to another. Be respectful of each other’s views.Be considerate and sincere in all your dealings. If you’re making any important decision, carry your spouse along. Stay purpose-driven together to continually energize your marital destiny.
Next, the apostle Paul instructed wives to submit to their husbands, as unto the Lord. Every godly wife must do this in her home as a role that God has cut out for her (Proverbs 31:10-31).
Every woman will create an atmosphere for the type of home she wants. Accordingly, one wise Christian thinker notes: “Where there is joy, happiness, trust, and freedom, thank the woman. Contrariwise, when you have suspicion, hostility, anguish, regrets and infighting, ask the woman” (anon). Remember Nabal’s wife (1Samuel 25:3). Recall Rebekah, the mother of Jacob (Genesis 25:28). And keep in mind Hannah, the mother of Samuel (1Samuel 2:19).
A real woman is a “womb-man”, a “feeling-male” and, especially, a “help-meet” for her husband (Genesis 2:18). For these noble roles she has to be full of virtue: wise in communication, innocent in character, forgiving in conflicts and exemplary as her husband’s companion(Proverbs 14:1).
Undoubtedly, it takes a wise, submissive, humble and patience wife to make a good husband, but they seldom come ready made. They are built to glorious specifications by their knowledge and obedience to God’s Word.
In this same spirit, Paul charges husbands to love their wives, as Christ loves the Church. This is the husband’s dominant role in the marital relationship, and lack of it is the reason many men are losing their homes today. Let’s please note that the extent of the love expected from the husband for his wife is in the dimensions of Christ’s love for His church.
Most certainly, Christ loves the church above silver and gold, above angels, above Israel His people, and even above His rainbow-circled throne in heaven. His love is sincere, matchless, undeserving, unwavering, sacrificial, and constant. It gives, strengthens, encourages, provides, builds, guides, corrects, commends, reproves, and forgives.The love of Christ cares in season and out of season, and hence it ministers hope consistently.
Husband, please love your wife indeed. Be proud of her, always (Genesis 2:23). Be present when you spend time together (Matthew 19:5). Be happy together, and keep the mutual attraction high (Matthew 1:18-19). Keep “courting” till the end: the moment you stop “courting” your partner,your relationship starts going downhill.
The real husband at the center of a happy home must be holy, understanding, supportive, believing, abiding in marriage covenant, noble, and dependable. He must also accept responsibility to provide for his family by all biblical means (1Timothy 5:8).
Finally it is imperative that godly couples must choose to secure one another, and pray for each other. When you secure and cover your spouse in prayers, you’re securing the glory of God in your home. When the husband secures the honor of his wife, he’s securing his “help” and “glory”; and when the wife secures the integrity of her husband, she’s securing her “head” and “lord” (1Corinthians 11:7; 1Peter 3:1-7; Genesis 18:12).
Friends and brethren, your spouse is never too bad beyond change; perhaps, it’s your way of relating with him/her sometimes that determines his/her responses and feelings towards you. If you can allow some changes today, you may be jumpstarting a big marriage miracle!
Start loving, honoring and cherishing your spouse. Encourage peace. Be patient, polite, supportive and respectful. Take good care of each other. Be very nice and appreciative of every single act of kindness. Don’t argue unnecessarily; be intentional in your quest to make your marriage work.
Above all, choose to be godly inside out: a man or woman in discord with God will naturally create discord in the family. If you do these things, by the power of God, you will soon see the sweet husband and the precious wife you’ve been praying for in your home. You won’t miss it, in Jesus name. Happy Sunday!
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Archbishop Taiwo Akinola,
Rhema Christian Church,
Otta, Ogun State, Nigeria.
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