Tunde Asaju
A morally corrupt David Cameron goes to visit Mama Charlie and in the frontal view of television cameras, describes Naija and Afghanistan as two 'fantastically corrupt countries' he has invited to a London anti-corruption summit. Our elders say that when you want to send a message to a deaf person, you send it through her children. Some said the outburst was a gaffe but I believe it's Britain's diplomatic way of passing an insult. Mama Charlie herself has been caught on camera describing Chinese officials as very rude.
Unlike hailers who descended on Cameron for adding a new, albeit grammatically incorrect verbiage to describe Naija, I would not contest the substance of the matter. We are corrupt. Our own president said so in London earlier. Even if we think it inappropriate for foreigners to label us, we know we are corrupt. Britain knows too, they sat idly by, and watched our fantastically corrupt kleptocrats steal our country blind and invest the proceeds into dubious property that the Brits only dream of owing. Those properties noted for the raucous and orgiastic parties are left unoccupied for most of the year. The Brits had a moral duty to stop this happening, but they did not.
If it hadn't happened in Britain, we would have sworn that a prime minister photographed with his John in a pig's mouth would fantastically go underground or forever hold his peace. Such hazing is not a resume for criticizing the morality of other nations. A prime minister who, in the course of one week denied his own father and lied his head off about his family's dubious Panama offshore investment has lost the right to judge other nations. Yes, Buhari is not morally fit to attend corruption summits, but he is bleached to sparkling on moral grounds.
But you can't blame Cameron totally. Imagine Dino Melaye, whose source of income is fantastically dubious as Bukola Saraki's 'anti-corruption' representative at the London confab. In one of the pictures on social media; a guy sitting beside Melaye was either picking his nose or covering it - a sign that no fresh air or turare can disinfect the stench of corruption. Melaye is lucky; in the murky world of the corrupt, people do not have to show the source of their fantastically dubious wealth to travel. Until the contrary is proved, Melaye remains a better Saraki rep than Joshua Dariye whose fantastically corrupt putrescence prevents planes carrying him from consciously overflying British airspace. We can't judge 'late' Diepreye Alamieyeseigha.
We can't blame Cameron for insulting us. He sits on the stash of fantastically corrupt money. That money oils the economic wheel of his country. Ordinarily, if Diezani Allison-Madueke were a UK-inmate, Cameron would have repatriated her to Abuja without qualms. But while confiscating her stash of fantastically corrupt loot, she has been left in London, to spend the rest of her stash. Cameron probably knows others that are unknown to us; the elephants of corruption or their calves living large on dubious wealth everywhere in the United Kingdom. Maybe when Buhari flies into London for baby David Cameron's birthday, Naija people might hear how Buhari himself pays for the education of his children from 150 cows before he gets his wish to have stolen funds repatriated.
Britain is not in a hurry to put Naija cash in duffel bags addressed to Kemi Adeosun or anyone else for that matter. In the past, funds had been repatriated only for it to get re-looted and rerouted to Dubai. It is a known secret that a good fortune of Naija looted cash drives many real estate businesses in Dubai. Most of that cash started moving there after Britain began plugging the loopholes that allowed the likes of Ibori to launder their loot into the UK. One supports the repatriation of stolen funds, with a proviso that they be channeled to tangible ventures.
Cameron's gaffe was not the only embarrassment to Naija while its president sat at the anti-corruption summit, the damning Amnesty International report on blatant human rights abuse at the Giwa Barracks detention facility couldn't have come at a worse time. Again, we never stop to play the ostrich. We issue vituperate denials to cover glaring inconsistencies, and sometimes stark evidences. Our nation and its institutions would be respected someday, when we take criticisms with ease and improve on the 'needful'. Our noble army is known for its excesses and if the barracks we keep our troops are worse than pigsty, what would their detention facilities resemble. To qualify for the respect accorded a modern army, ours needs a new manual of engagement, and a revised modus operandi to bounce off cogent criticisms. The earlier it begins work on that, the better.
Things are going better and they are going worse. Just as he was enjoying the pleasure that London offers, Buhari has increased the hardship he once promised to lessen. His handlers and supporters could say whatever they like, they can never justify refined fuel at N145 per litre in a country where every employed person caters for at least 20 unemployed people. We have been fantastically deceived!
