Marriage is hard under the best of circumstances, but it can be even harder when you're juggling the pressures of running a business and keeping your relationship strong. 

Which might be why author and entrepreneur Mark Manson felt he needed all the expert advice he could get when he got married recently. 

An inbox explosion's worth of marriage advice 

The author of the NSFW bestseller The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, Manson also runs a wide-reaching personal growth website. 

Keen to help his new marriage thrive, he embarked on a fascinating – if completely unscientific – research project, using his site to solicit advice from couples that have been together for more than 10 years. Almost 1,500 replies flooded his inbox. 

In a long Quartz article, Manson breaks down the lessons he learned. If you're hoping to armor your own marriage against the slings and arrows of the entrepreneurial life, it's well worth a read in full. 

But what struck me as most useful was one particular theme Manson noticed after wading through this mountain of marital wisdom. 

"As we scanned through the hundreds of responses we received, my assistant and I began to notice an interesting trend. People who had been through divorces and/or had only been with their partners for 10-15 years almost always talked about communication being the most important part of making things work," he writes. 

"But we noticed that the thing people with marriages going on 20, 30, or even 40 years talked about most was respect."

The secret to keeping a relationship strong  

Much of the rest of the article discusses communication from various angles. And talking openly and frequently with your partner is valuable according to just about everyone. 

But by the end of his experiment – and his article – Manson concludes that one word trumps even the best communication skills when it comes to keeping a partnership going over decades. As Aretha Franklin could have told you, that word is respect. 

Why? 

"Communication, no matter how open, transparent and disciplined, will always break down at some point. Conflicts are ultimately unavoidable, and feelings will always be hurt," Manson explains. 

And when that inevitably happens, the thing that will save your relationship "is an unerring respect for one another, the fact that you hold each other in high esteem, believe in one another – often more than you each believe in yourselves – and trust that your partner is doing his/her best with what they've got."

In practice, Manson explains, respecting your partner, your relationship, and yourself means things like never talking trash about your better half to others, not keeping secrets, and understanding that both partners' preferences and happiness carry equal weight. 

Maybe this struck me because it fits what I've observed over the course of my own 15-year marriage. I can't tell you we've avoided the ugly fights couples therapists warn against, and we've certainly failed to follow the classic "never go to bed angry" advice. 

(Seriously, why is screaming all night when you're overwrought and exhausted better than sleeping on the couch and coming back to the conversation when you're saner in the morning?) 

But we've gotten through them because, at the base of it, I think my husband is a good guy who respects me and tries his best and, hopefully, he thinks the same of me.

Maybe it struck me because of its simplicity. 

Remembering to always hold on to respect is a lot easier to remember when you're in your fifth sleepless month of caring for a newborn (or a newborn business) together than therapist-approved advice to frame complaints in certain ways or hold household administrative meetings. 

But whatever the reason, Manson's conclusion that respect is the bedrock of basically all the other marriage advice he received was built on struck me as worth passing along to entrepreneurs keen to help their partnerships thrive despite the inevitable strain of their lifestyles. I'll give Manson the final word: 

"Respect goes hand-in-hand with trust. And trust is the lifeblood of any relationship (romantic or otherwise). 

Without trust, there can be no sense of intimacy or comfort. Without trust, your partner will become a liability in your mind, something to be avoided and analyzed, not a protective homebase for your heart and your mind."

Inc

When a sperm whale washed up dead on a beach in the Canary Island of La Palma no one imagined a valuable treasure was hidden in its entrails.

Heavy seas and a rising tide made it difficult to carry out a postmortem, but Antonio Fernández Rodríguez, head of the institute of animal health and food security at the University of Las Palmas, was determined to find out why the whale had died.

Suspecting a digestive problem, he inspected the animal’s colon – and felt something hard stuck to that part of the intestine. “What I took out was a stone about 50-60cm in diameter weighing 9.5kg,” he said. “The waves were washing over the whale. Everyone was watching when I returned to the beach but they didn’t know that what I had in my hands was ambergris.”

Ambergris is a rare substance, often known as floating gold, that has been the holy grail of perfumers for centuries. The lump Fernández held in his hand was worth about €500,000 (£430,000).

The origin of ambergris, produced by about one in 100 sperm whales, was only solved when large-scale whaling began in the early 19th century. Whales eat large quantities of squid and cuttlefish, most of which cannot be digested and is vomited out. But some remains, and over the years binds together in the whale’s intestines to form ambergris.

This is sometimes excreted, which is why ambergris is most commonly found floating in the sea. But sometimes, as in the case of the whale in La Palma, it grows too large, rupturing the intestine and killing the whale.

Ambergris has a woody scent like sandalwood but also contains ambrein, an odourless alcohol that can fix and extend the life of scents, hence its popularity among perfumers.

The US, Australia and India have banned the trade in ambergris as part of the ban on hunting and exploiting whales.

Fernández, who has conducted autopsies on more than 1,000 whales, said sepsis caused by the ambergris killed the whale.

The institute is looking for a buyer, and Fernández said they hoped funds raised would go towards helping victims of the volcano that erupted on La Palma in 2021, which caused more than €800m (£685m) in damage and destroyed hundreds of homes and businesses.

“The law is different in every country,” Fernández said. “In our case, I hope the money will go to the island of La Palma, where the whale ran aground and died.”

In one of his many digressions in Moby-Dick, the novelist Herman Melville dedicates an entire chapter to ambergris, which he describes as “soft, waxy, and so highly fragrant and spicy, that it is largely used in perfumery … Who would think, then, that such fine ladies and gentlemen should regale themselves with an essence found in the inglorious bowels of a sick whale! Yet so it is!”

The Guardian, UK

Presidential candidate of the Peoples Democratic Party, PDP, in the 2023 election, Atiku Abubakar, has described President Bola Tinubu’s plan to hand out N8,000 to 12 million households for six months as a brazen attempt to divert public funds.

Special Assistant on Public Communications to Abubakar, Phrank Shaibu, made this known in a statement on Thursday.

He said Tinubu’s plan to spend $800m on palliatives under an opaque arrangement was reminiscent of former President Muhammadu Buhari’s conditional cash transfer and Covid-19 intervention initiative which saw politicians keeping food items and provisions in their homes while the poor went hungry.

He said Buhari’s interventionist programmes only ended up making Nigerians poorer as shown in reports released by the National Bureau of Statistics.

“After announcing the removal of petrol subsidy without proper planning, Tinubu has asked for the approval of $800m loan which he claims will be disbursed to 12 million households for six months at N8,000 for each household per month. This is a continuation of the scam of the All Progressives Congress.

“According to statistics, a Nigerian household as at 2019 counted on an average of 5.06 members. So, with Tinubu’s uninspiring plan, each individual in a household will get N1,600 per month or N53 per day. What should they do with it? Use the money to buy sachet “pure water” or a cup of boiled groundnut on a daily basis? And this is the man they claim transformed the economy of Lagos State? This must be a joke or a more sinister attempt to divert public funds”, he said.

Abubakar argued that Tinubu lacked a clear economic policy apart from taxing Nigerians.

He said having deceptively attained presidential power, Tinubu has been exposed as an economic illiterate.

“Tinubu boasted that he would ‘develop Nigeria’s economy’ like that of Lagos but this was all a scam. Statistics show that over 70% of Lagos revenue comes from income tax paid by private companies which had been in Lagos for decades due to its status as Nigeria’s former capital.

“His only plan is to tax Nigerians to death as he did in Lagos and that is why the people of Lagos rejected him in the last election. Tinubu promised to turn Nigeria’s economy into a $1 trillion economy but it is all a scam and can never be achieved with his brand of “agberonomics,” he added.

Abubakar said Tinubu ought to have focused on putting money into the agricultural sector and subsidizing production and working at attaining energy security that is the backbone of spurring desired economic growth from SMEs if he was really serious about reviving the economy.

He added, “Agriculture makes up about 30% of Nigeria’s GDP. He should have invested funds in the production aspect of agriculture and other issues affecting crop yields. The rural areas which are mostly agrarian are in the throes of insecurity. On Tinubu’s watch, over 200 people have so far been killed. However, he seems clueless on how to tackle this menace.

“The so-called palliatives that Tinubu seeks to share to the poor are just another avenue to divert public funds. For years, the federal government has rejected calls to publish the list of the beneficiaries of the so-called palliatives but this has never been done because it is all a scam.

“Tinubu should stop trying to deceive Nigerians who are still suffering from the effect of his lackluster economic policies.

“There are also concerns that this plan is a reinvention of old tricks through which the APC uses public funds as subterfuge for vote buying.

”Let no one make any mistakes about it, the planned palliative is Trader Moni 2.0. “The scheme is nothing but a means to use public funds to prosecute political campaigns and objectives. It is even more telling that the current imposter government is contemplating the initiative when there is high expectation that the presidential election tribunal is set to give judgement in the controversial election that brought Tinubu into government.

“The APC is a political party that has lost favour with a vast majority of Nigeria, and it is no coincidence that since 2019 when the party invented the charade of Trader Moni, it also incontrovertibly introduced the menace of vote buying into Nigeria’s body politic.

“A special investigation into the Trader Moni initiative by the administration of former President Muhammadu Buhari revealed that more than N20 billion was wasted on corruption, kickbacks, fraud and partisanship.”

The presidential election court has reserved judgement in the petition filed by the Allied Peoples Movement (APM) against the election of President Bola Tinubu.

The five-member panel of the court led by Haruna Tsammani, adjourned for judgement on Friday, after all the parties adopted their final briefs. 

In the petition marked CA/PEPC/04/2023, the party is contending that Tinubu was improperly sponsored by the All Progressives Congress (APC) since he nominated Kashim Shettima as his vice-presidential candidate for the election.

It claims that at the time Shettima accepted to be APC’s vice-presidential candidate, he was still the party’s candidate for Borno central senatorial district.

On May 30, Wole Olanipekun, counsel representing Tinubu and Shettima, told the court that the supreme court judgment which dismissed an appeal by the Peoples Democratic Party (PDP), affects the petition filed by the APM.

The PDP’s case against the APC presidential candidates was on the grounds of double nomination.

The opposition party had claimed that Shettima was still the APC candidate for Borno central senatorial district on July 14, when he accepted the nomination for vice-presidential candidate.

However, in a judgment delivered on May 26, the supreme court dismissed the appeal for lacking in merit.

A five-member panel of the apex court held that PDP not being a member of the APC, lacked the locus standi to institute the suit.

The apex court also ruled that Shettima was not guilty of double nomination.

But the APM said they had analysed the judgment and still wanted to continue with their petition.

The party closed its case on June 21 after calling just one witness.

Independent National Electoral Commission (INEC), APC, President Tinubu, Shettima, and Kabiru Masari are the respondents.

The Cable

The UK government says the state-funded national health service (NHS) will increase from £624 per year to £1,035 per year. 

According to the government, the cost of study visas is to also go up by 15 percent (from £363 to £417) and work visas by 20 percent (from £1,235 to £1,482 for a period of more than three years).

John Glen, chief secretary to the UK treasury, said the prices of visit and work visas, post-study work (PSW) visas will rise.

Similarly, he said the cost of study visas, certificate of sponsorship (COS), indefinite leave to remain (ILR), settlement status, and others will be more expensive.

Glen added that priority visa applications will also increase significantly.

“We plan to increase the rates of the immigration health surcharge, which have been frozen for the last three years,” he said.

“Despite high inflation and wider pressures facing the economy and the system, in general, to ensure that it covers the full healthcare costs of those who actually pay. 

“Under our plans, the main rate will increase to £1,035, and the discounted rate for students and underage teens will increase to £776.

“This increase in the surcharge will help fund the pay rise for doctors. At the same time, we will increase fees across a range of immigration and nationality routes, including for people coming here to live, work and study at a time of record high immigration numbers. 

“Specifically, this means increasing the cost of work visas and visit visas by 15 percent and increasing the cost of study visas, COS, settlement, citizenship, wider entry clearance and ILR visas and priority visas by at least 20 percent.

“We’re also equalising cost for students and for those using a priority service so people pay the same whether they apply from within the UK or from outside the UK.

“This will help cover more of the costs of migration and border system allowing the home secretary to divert more funding to police forces to help fund the pay rise for the police. 

“We will cut back on civil service recruitment in the ministry of defence until March 2025 to help fund the pay rise for all forces.”

The development is coming a day after Rishi Sunak, the UK prime minister, announced plans to significantly increase visa application fees.

The prime minister had said the government intended to raise over £1 billion to pay teachers, police, junior doctors and other public sector workers.

The Cable

Eleven electricity Distribution Companies (DisCos) have sought the approval of the Nigerian Electricity Regulatory Commission (NERC) to review tariffs.

This was contained in a joint application dated 14th July, 2023 titled, “Notice of Application for Rate Review By the Electricity Distribution Companies.”

They established their calls for rates review on the requirement to incorporate changes in macroeconomic parameters as well as other elements affecting the quality of service, operations and sustainability of the companies.

“Pursuant to Section 116 (1) and 2(a&b) of the Electricity Act 2023 and other extant rules, the eleven (11) successor electricity distribution companies (“DisCos”) have filed an application for rate review with the Nigerian Electricity Regulatory Commission (“NERC” or the “Commission”),” the letter partly read.

“The request for rates review is premised on the need to incorporate changes in macroeconomic parameters and other factors affecting the quality of service, operations and sustainability of the companies.”

The energy distributors also disclosed that the Commission would welcome comments from Nigerians, stating, “Accordingly, the Commission hereby invites the general public for comments on the rate review applications by the distribution licensees.

“Interested stakeholders are advised to review and take into consideration the excerpts of the Rate Review Applications filed with the Commission by the respective licensees.

“The applications can be accessed on the Commission’s website at www.nerc.gov.ng.

“As part of the rule-making process and in the exercise of the powers conferred by the Electricity Act, the Commission shall conduct a Rate Case Hearing on the applications prior to making a ruling.

“Any person wishing to participate in the proceedings as an intervenor should forward his/her application to This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. before close of business on 20th July 2023. The Request to Participate shall include the following:

“i. An explanation of the person’s interest in the proceeding and how the party would be affected by the outcome of the Application; and

“ii. A description of the party’s concerns, observations comments and/or objections to the application.

“All members of the public and stakeholders are encouraged to send their comments or representations before the close of business on 20th July 2023 to the Chairman/CEO, The Nigerian Electricity Regulatory Commission.”

Some DisCos had notified consumers of tariff hike with effect from July 1, 2023. However, they backed down after NERC said it was not notified of the move.

Daily Trust

A Nigerian Air Force (NAF) FT-7NI trainer aircraft crashed at about 4.15p.m. on Friday in Makurdi, Benue State, while on routine training exercise, an official has said.

Director, Public Relations and Information of the Nigerian Air Force, Edward Gabkwet, made this known in a statement on Friday in Abuja.

Gabkwet, an air commodore, said the two pilots on board survived the crash after successfully ejecting from the aircraft.

According to him, there was no loss of lives or damage to any property around the area of impact.

“Both pilots are currently under observation at NAF Base Hospital, Makurdi.

“Meanwhile, Chief of Air Staff, Hassan Abubakar, has constituted a Board of Inquiry to determine the immediate and remote causes of the crash,” he said.

NAN

WESTERN PERSPECTIVE

Zelenskiy warns of Russian efforts to halt Kyiv's troops, general notes advances in south

President Volodymyr Zelenskiy warned Ukrainians that Russia was throwing all its resources into a campaign to stop Kyiv's troops from pressing their counter offensive and a top general reported new progress on the southern front.

But Ukrainian military analysts suggested that things were not easy for Ukrainian forces in their bid to advance southward.

Ukraine has launched a counter offensive to take back swathes of land in eastern and southern Ukraine captured by Russian forces in their invasion launched in February 2022.

It has focused on capturing villages in the southeast in a drive towards the Sea of Azov and areas near the eastern city of Bakhmut, taken by Russian forces in May after months of battles.

Russian accounts said its forces had repelled Ukrainian attacks in eastern Donetsk region, including around Bakhmut.

"We must all understand very clearly, as clearly as possible, that Russian forces in our southern and eastern lands are doing everything they can in order to stop our soldiers," Zelenskiy said in his nightly video address after chairing a meeting with top commanders on Friday.

"And every thousand metres we advance, every success of every combat brigade deserves our gratitude."

Reuters was unable to verify battlefield reports.

General Oleksander Tarnavskyi, commander of Ukrainian forces in the south, said after the meeting that his troops were "systematically moving the enemy out of their positions".

Enemy losses over the past 24 hours were equivalent to at least 200, he wrote on Telegram.

"In the south, the situation is very difficult in advancing towards Berdiansk," military analyst Serhiy Hrabskyi told Ukrainian NV radio, referring to a port on the Sea of Azov. Ukrainian forces hope to cut off a land bridge Russian forces have established with the annexed Crimean peninsula.

"They are moving on the village of Robotyne. The enemy is offering resistance to stop our advance southward."

Russia's Defence Ministry, in its daily report, said its forces had repelled 16 Ukrainian attacks on the eastern front, including near the long-contested town of Maryinka and in the strategic village of Klishchiivka, on Bakhmut's southern fringe.

RUSSIAN PERSPECTIVE

Russia warns of ‘mine threat’ in Black Sea

The Russian Defense Ministry has issued a warning after a Ukrainian mine was discovered near shipping lanes in the northwestern area of the Black Sea.

In a statement issued on Friday, Moscow urged all vessels to be aware of the potential danger posed by naval mines, citing a warning from Russia’s Black Sea Fleet.

The stray mine was laid by Ukrainian forces early last year during “chaotic mining activities in the coastal area of the Black Sea,” the Defense Ministry said, adding that Kiev’s troops had “paid no attention to maritime navigation security.”

“Incompetence and a lack of responsibility on the part of the Ukrainian Navy have led to a situation, in which an unidentified number of mines are now drifting… in the Black Sea, posing a constant danger to navigation,” it said.

Kiev has yet to comment on the situation.

Stray mines have been discovered in the Black Sea on a number of occasions since the start of the conflict between Moscow and Kiev. In April 2022, the Turkish Defense Ministry said it had to dispatch elite Underwater Defense (SAS) diving teams to an area off the coast of Türkiye’s Izmir province after a floating mine was discovered.

Earlier, two other apparent stray mines were discovered and destroyed by Turkish specialists – one near the Bosphorus Strait and another near the nation’s border with Bulgaria. In March 2022, the Romanian military also discovered and destroyed a mine floating near the nation’s Black Sea shore.

Both Ukraine and Russia have accused each other of laying mines in the Black Sea since the start of the conflict. Ukrainian President Vladimir Zelensky accused Russia of what he described as “creating the worst threat to international security since World War II” by laying mines as a “de facto weapon of indiscriminate action” back in April 2022.

Moscow denied Kiev’s accusations. The Russian Federal Security Service (FSB) said in spring 2022 that the Ukrainian Navy had placed around 420 “obsolete” sea anchor mines outside several of its ports. Some of these mines later detached from their cables and were on the drift, it added.

Reuters/RT

Commonwealth Games Federation (CGF) has stripped Nigeria of the gold medal won in the women’s 4×100 meters event at Birmingham 2022.

The quartet of Tobi Amusan, Favour Ofili, Rosemary Chukwuma and Grace Nwokocha claimed gold in the 4×100 meters race during last year’s Commonwealth Games (CWG).

Nwokocha, who ran the anchor leg for Nigeria, however, failed a doping test during the competition after ostarine and lingadrol were found in her sample A urine.

Consequently, the Athletics Integrity Unit (AIU) handed her a provisional suspension, banning her from the sport.

In a statement on Friday, the CGF disclosed that the Commonwealth Games Federation Court has disqualified Nwokocha and nullified all the results involving her at the competition.

“The Commonwealth Games Federation (CGF) can confirm that the Commonwealth Games Federation Court has issued their decision regarding an in-competition sample provided by Ms Nwokocha, who competed in Athletics at the Birmingham 2022 Commonwealth Games,” the statement reads.

“Analysis of the sample returned an Adverse Analytical Finding (AAF) for Ostarine and Dihydroxy-LGD-4033, a metabolite of Ligandrol. Both are non-Specified Substances, listed under Other Anabolic Agents in the WADA 2022 Prohibited List.

“Accordingly, the Federation Court disqualified Ms Nwokocha’s results from the following events, with all resulting consequences, including forfeiture of any points and prizes: Athletics – Women’s 100m, Athletics – Women’s 200m, Athletics – Women’s 4x100m Relay, including the team’s forfeiture of the gold medal.”

The federation added that Nwokocha’s case has been forwarded to AIU for further consequence.

Following the court verdict, England, which initially finished second, will get the gold medal, Jamaica will be upgraded to silver while Australia will have the bronze.

The Cable

Italian social media users are expressing outrage after judges said groping had to last 10 seconds to be considered sexual assault.

How long does a grope have to last before it is considered sexual assault?

More than 10 seconds, according to an Italian courtroom.

Italian judges have acquitted a 66-year-old cleaner accused of groping a 17-year-old student because “it lasted less than 10 seconds” and that the assault “was not a sign of sexual desire.”

Even writing those words makes you want to bathe in bleach.

The incident happened at a high school in Rome in April 2022. The schoolgirl was walking up a flight of stairs between classes when the janitor, named Antonio Avola, put his hand inside the waistband of her trousers and inside her underwear. When confronted, he responded: “Come on love, you know I’m only joking,” according to other students who witnessed the incident.

The caretaker was charged with sexual assault. He admitted to groping the student without her consent but claimed it was just a joke.

Despite the public prosecutor’s request for a nearly four-year prison sentence and a sexual assault conviction, the judge ruled in favour of Avola, ruling that his groping had “only lasted between five and 10 seconds” and that his hand had not “lingered” down her underwear for very long.

The viral #10secondi

The shocking case has sparked outrage over the casual sexism still rampant in Italy, and in response to this shameful decision, the phrase “palpata breve” (“a brief grope”) and a "10 second" hashtag (#10secondi) have gone viral on TikTok and Instagram in protest of the court’s ruling.

One of the first to use the hashtag was The White Lotus actor Paolo Camilli, who posted a video online showing himself rubbing his chest alongside a 10 second countdown. As of writing, Camilli’s video has over 300,000 views and amassed over 83,000 likes. 

Several rather unsettling videos followed suit, showing people touching their bodies (or having another person touching them) while a stopwatch counts down time, showing how unnervingly long 10 seconds can be. The comments in the videos saw social media users expressing their disdain for the ruling. 

In some cases, the aggressor in the videos removes their hand at the 9 second mark, explaining it doesn’t count if it’s under 10 seconds.

Instagram user durantilaura posted such a video and wrote: "Now... I am not a judge and I am well aware that judgments are to be respected. But I really don't understand the rationale. Why is the intention assessed and not the gesture? Why is the duration even assessed to determine whether it is violence or not? Isn't it more important whether the person who suffered the gesture consented to it? Whether or not she felt violated?"

Speaking to the Corriere della Sera newspaper, the teenager involved in the case stated that the incident was no joke, as her aggressor stated: “A joke is something shared between two people. This is not the way that a janitor should joke around with a young girl of 17. I’m very angry.”

“This is not justice,” she added. “I feel betrayed – first by the school, where it happened, and now by the court. (…) I'm starting to think I was wrong to trust the institutions.”

Euronews