Everything about God and His kingdom is counterintuitive. God warns us about this in the scriptures. But we are so tied to this world that we often overlook it.

He says: “My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts.” (Isaiah 55:8-9).

Therefore, Solomon counsels that we should not lean on our own understanding. (Proverbs 3:5). Instead of striving with the scriptures and ignoring those we find inconvenient, Peter says we must realise that: “No prophecy in Scripture ever came from the prophet’s own understanding, or from human initiative. No, those prophets were moved by the Holy Spirit, and they spoke from God.” (2 Peter 1L20-21).

Accordingly, Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, says it is a foolish man who does not believe and internalise what the prophets of God have written in the scriptures. (Luke 24:25).

Suffering for the gospel

One of those things we have difficulty believing is suffering. Why does a good God, a loving Father, not just allow, but insist that His children must suffer? Why is suffering written into the fabric of the gospel? Why is the suffering of Jesus on our behalf not enough? Why must we also go into the crucible?

Jesus Himself provides the answer. He says: “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.” (John 14:6). This means our lives must be patterned after His. The way Jesus takes is the path of life. Whatever He prescribes is the truth of God.

So, if Jesus suffered, we must also suffer. If He carried His cross, we too must carry ours. In every way, we must follow His example.

Jesus does not leave this to conjure. He tells us expressly: “If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me.” (Matthew 16:24).

So, Peter says: “Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that you should follow His steps.” (1 Peter 2:21).

Persecuting the righteous

Since the world hated Christ and persecuted Him, even so, the world will hate us if we belong to Jesus. (John 15:18-19). The devil, the prince of this world (John 12:31), will ensure that: “All who desire to live godly in Christ Jesus will suffer persecution.” (2 Timothy 3:12).

“The Holy Spirit joins with our spirit to affirm that we are God’s children. And since we are His children, we are His heirs. In fact, together with Christ, we are heirs of God’s glory. But if we are to share His glory, we must also share His suffering.” (Romans 8:16-17).

No matter what our deceiving pastors insist on telling us by preaching the false gospel of prosperity, the counsel of God is contrarian: “We must through many tribulations enter the kingdom of God.” (Acts 14:22). Therefore, the psalmist insists: “Many are the afflictions of the righteous.” (Psalm 34:119).

But what about the wicked?

Job says: “The wicked prosper, growing old and powerful? They live to see their children grow up and settle down, and they enjoy their grandchildren. Their homes are safe from every fear, and God does not punish them. Their bulls never fail to breed. Their cows bear calves and never miscarry. They let their children frisk about like lambs. Their little ones skip and dance. They sing with tambourine and harp. They celebrate to the sound of the flute. They spend their days in prosperity, then go down to the grave in peace.” (Job 21:7-13).

Overcoming the world

There are so many reasons why believers must suffer for the gospel and the glory of God. However, I will only address one here.

When Jesus met two of His disciples on the way to Emmaus, grieving His crucifixion, He asked them: “Wasn’t it clearly predicted by the prophets that the Messiah would have to suffer all these things before entering His time of glory?” (Luke 24:26).

The truth is that God requires suffering to promote the gospel. Suffering validates the superiority of the kingdom of God over the satanic kingdoms of this world. Indeed, we preach the gospel powerfully by suffering for Christ with disregard for our pains and troubles.

This, again, is counterintuitive. The carnal mind presumes that the best way to promote the gospel is by the prosperity of the righteous in the world. The prosperity of believers, then, would commend the gospel to unbelievers, and also encourage believers.

But the carnal mind is enmity against God. (Romans 8:7). The carnal mind simply seeks what is pleasurable, as opposed to what is godly.

Devices of the devil

The devil uses the riches of this world to deceive us into sin. He uses them to entice us away from God. Thus, the devil took Jesus up a high mountain and offered Him all the kingdoms of the world if He would worship him and not God. (Matthew 4:8).

Since Jesus refused, he persecuted Jesus. He had Him tried, crucified, and buried. But Jesus overcame him because God raised Jesus from the dead, never to die again.

Believers must also overcome sin and death, just as Jesus did. Since we are still in the world of the devil, we will suffer persecution but must disregard this knowing it will amount to nothing in the end because of Jesus.

Thus, Jesus gives us forewarning: “In the world, you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33).

He then promises those who follow His shining example: “To him who overcomes I will grant to sit with Me on My throne, as I also overcame and sat down with My Father on His throne.” (Revelation 3:21).

Validating the gospel

Accordingly, the suffering of believers promotes the gospel by validating it. It shows that: “Neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”(Romans 8:38-39).

So, John heard a loud voice in heaven proclaiming the triumph of Jesus and the saints of God over the devil and his world:

“Now salvation, and strength, and the kingdom of our God, and the power of His Christ have come, for the accuser of our brethren, who accused them before our God day and night, has been cast down. And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, and they did not love their lives to the death.” (Revelation 12:10-11).

Our triumph over suffering in the world makes us: “More than conquerors through Him who loved us.” (Romans 8:37). When we suffer unjustly and bear it, the agents of Satan defeat us. But then God, in His manifold wisdom, brings amazing victory out of our seeming defeats repeatedly.

Since we do not give in or give up because of our confidence in the love and faithfulness of God, God is glorified in our endurance, and He works all things together for our good. (Romans 8:28).

“God’s purpose in all this was to use the church to display His wisdom in its rich variety to all the unseen rulers and authorities in the heavenly places.” (Ephesians 3:10). CONTINUED.

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Philippa Kelly

‘I don’t sweat the small stuff any more’

Mari Isdale, 40, Greater Manchester, England

In 2015, Isdale, then 31, was diagnosed with stage four bowel cancer and given 18 months to live. Despite a period of remission and 170 rounds of chemotherapy, the disease has since spread to her lymph nodes.

I always thought, “I’ll get my career sorted, then we’ll get married, have children, go travelling.” And then cancer happened. You grieve for your future self. Your imagined children and your career. If I died tomorrow, what I’d be saying on my deathbed is I regret not spending enough time with my family. So that’s what I focus on.

I have a “Yolo list” of things I want to experience in life and my husband and family work very hard to ensure we do as many of them as possible together. They’ve taken me snorkelling in the Maldives, hot-air ballooning over Cappadocia and snowmobiling in Iceland. We’ve stayed in a cave hotel, seen the pyramids, the Colosseum, and flown in a helicopter over New York. We’ve hand-fed tigers, taken the Rocky Mountaineer train, been paragliding and seen the tulip fields of Holland.

My life is most likely going to be short, so on my good days, when I’m well enough, I really live. I go out and do anything I want: for a nice meal, to the theatre, cinema or an escape room.

My illness has changed the way I prioritise things. Although I loved my career as a doctor, it often meant long hours, missing out on Christmases and birthdays, exams, stress. Giving that up is a big sacrifice, but it’s one I’m willing to make to gain more time with my loved ones. It is ironic that it took being told I was dying before I really started living.

Anything that doesn’t make my heart sing is less important to me these days. I don’t sweat the small stuff any more. Life is too short for cleaning. The laundry pile will wait. And if I want to eat a piece of cake, I damn well do.

‘Don’t waste energy fighting’

Michèle Bowley, 57, Basel-Stadt, Switzerland

After Bowley found a lump in her armpit in summer 2020, a biopsy revealed breast cancer. The disease spread to her lungs, liver and bones, and in late 2021 she was given a prognosis of three to six months.

Accept yourself and your situation. Don’t waste energy fighting. The most important things in life are other people. Pay attention to your needs and do what makes you happy. Do something creative, learn something new, get involved in something that matters to you. Enjoy your life to the last breath.

I have no regrets. I’ve always done what was important to me and have reached my full potential regardless of what others expected or thought of me. I’ve had a fulfilled life; I’m ready to go.

‘Having a sense of purpose brings joy’

Mark Edmondson, 41, Sussex, England

In 2017, Edmondson was diagnosed with colon cancer. After doctors also discovered more than 30 tumours in his liver, he was given a year to live. He has since undergone more than 140 rounds of chemotherapy and over 30 operations.

Prior to getting cancer, I had ambitions of becoming a managing director or CEO; I wanted to achieve something in my career. Within hours of the diagnosis, that disappeared. I don’t care for work any more, but I believe strongly in having a sense of purpose, something to motivate and distract you, and bring joy and satisfaction. I get that from the business I started: a support service for anyone facing adversity. If someone had said, two years into my treatment, “Do you feel able to support other people through their diagnosis?”, I would have said no way. But as time has passed I do, and I’ve spoken to more than 100 people. I love coaching and mentoring. I’ve never been happier.

I lead every session with this quote and loop back to it at the end: “It’s not what happens to us, but how we react that defines who we are.” So how do you want to be defined? Cancer or no cancer, that question should dictate how you live.

I’m a big believer in being as honest and open as possible. Men are notoriously bad at sharing our feelings, but I want to change that for my boys.

We get pushed along in this world by consumerism, but it doesn’t matter what car or house we have, as long as we’re comfortable. What really matters is love, relationships, kindness, caring for people, being around people. I want to create the best relationships I can, and live the happiest life I can, because I no longer know what my timeframe is.

‘It’s not about the quantity of time I’ve got, it’s the quality’

Chris Johnson, 44, Tyne and Wear, England

In 2019, Johnson was diagnosed with a rare gastrointestinal cancer. In 2020, hundreds of small tumours found on his liver led to a prognosis of two to five years.

I’ve got limited time, so I’d rather be doing things with family and friends, and having a positive impact on the world around me. I’m not in the office wearing a shirt and tie any more. In 2021 I was running marathons, and last year I completed the National Three Peaks Challenge.

Fundraising has been the main driver but exercise also helps with the side-effects of my treatment, though as that progresses, it’s becoming harder to do long distances.

I still care about politics, the climate and my football team, but I don’t get stressed about them any more. It’s not about the quantity of time I’ve got it, it’s the quality.

People talk about beating cancer or winning. I’m never going to beat cancer, it’s not an option. At some point it will kill me. But until then, how I live my life is my version of winning.

‘Cancer sorts out what really matters’

Siobhan O’Sullivan, 49, New South Wales, Australia

After feeling unwell for two weeks, O’Sullivan was diagnosed with ovarian cancer in August 2020. It had already spread beyond her ovaries, and did not respond to chemotherapy.

I have a lot of colleagues and friends around the world, and people have mailed me gifts from every corner of the globe. An English friend flew out to see me for three days; he spent longer in the air than with me. This is the kind of generosity of spirit that people have shown me and it’s been very moving.

Cancer has been extremely effective in sorting out what really matters and what doesn’t. I was always a very busy person, and if I was meeting someone for lunch at 1pm and they strolled in at 1.20, I might have been irritated. Now I’ve realised none of that matters. I would love to have had this insight and these connections without having to go through this cancer bullshit. But I don’t think there’s a shortcut to it.

Siobhan O’Sullivan died on 17 June 2023.

‘Sharing your feelings helps’

Harry Soko, 59, Salima, Malawi

In July 2020 Soko noticed a pain in his right thigh. A year later he was diagnosed with skin cancer, which will significantly shorten his life: a 2014 study at the care centre where he is being treated found only 5% of patients with the condition live more than five years.

Normally we say, “If you are suffering from cancer, the immediate result is death.” So my family accepted it. The community accepted it. When I’m alone or sleeping, it comes to me: “Why am I suffering from cancer? How did I get it?” It takes time to accept. But if you share your feelings with others, you become free. You have no worries.

‘My illness stripped me of my fears’

Juan Reyes, 56, Texas, US

Reyes was diagnosed with ALS in 2015; he’d had symptoms for two years, and the average survival time is three. In the next six months he became a wheelchair user; he has since lost the use of his hands.

I’m very much an introvert, quiet and reserved, and afraid of public speaking. Having to live with ALS has stripped me of many of my fears. I’ve always had a very silly streak with close friends and family, and now I use that as a power, to entertain and educate through comedy.

The first time I did standup was in October 2019, at a fundraiser for ALS I’d organised at a local comedy club. I didn’t intend to do it, but as I was opening the evening, I took a chance. Afterwards I felt incredibly alive.

I also went skydiving six months after diagnosis. The first step out of the aircraft took my breath away. The rush of air was deafening, then I was suspended above the landscape. The serene silence, interrupted by the rustling of the canopy, was life-altering. I’m so glad I experienced this. I’m dying, so what is there to fear?

‘Stop worrying about having a good job or needing a big house’

Caroline Richards, 44, Bridgend, Wales

Her son was 16 months old when, in 2014, a swelling in Richards’s stomach was diagnosed as bowel cancer. She was told that, with successful chemotherapy, she would probably live for two years.

These past nine years have been really good, probably better than if I hadn’t had cancer. Different things became a priority: spending time together rather than worrying about having a good job or thinking you need a big house.

In a way I feel lucky – I could have died when my son was three or four. I feel as if I’m living on borrowed time. But he knows me. He’ll remember me.

‘Find gratitude’

Tyra Wilkinson, 50, Ontario, Canada

A family history of breast cancer meant that when Wilkinson was diagnosed with the disease in 2015, she had already made plans for a mastectomy. Seven years later, the cancer had returned and spread to her spine, making it incurable.

My husband and I had plans for when our kids were grown. We have always said we’d be the most fit grandparents, playing with our grandkids on the ground. Even if I’m alive I won’t be able to be that grandparent, because I’m just not capable of doing that stuff now.

Find the gratitude for what you have because it can always – and will always – get worse. Be grateful for all the things that are going your way right now.

‘Go to the parties. Stay out late’

Amanda Nicole Tam, 23, Quebec, Canada

After noticing symptoms in January 2021, Tam was diagnosed with amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS) that October – five days before her 21st birthday.

I wish I had gone out more with my friends. I wish I had gone to parties and stayed out late. Living life free-spirited is something I feel I missed out on, and I regret that I didn’t take advantage of that when I was younger. Life is short and you should live it how you want, regardless of what people think. Don’t hold back. Say what you want to say and do what you want to do.

‘Have a goal. Don’t accept defeat’

Mark Hughes, 62, Essex, England

More than 20 years ago, pneumonia led to the discovery of a tumour in Hughes’s lung. Surgery was successful, but the cancer had spread to his lymph nodes. In 2010, a rare form of the disease, which is now terminal, was found in his bones.

It’s about having a goal, a purpose, setting your sights somewhere. I won’t be beaten down or accept defeat. The only way is forward, and there’s always a finishing post I’m aiming for. If you get knocked down, get back up, brush yourself down and go again. That’s what keeps me going.

‘You are enough; you make a difference’

Chanel Hobbs, 53, Virginia, US

At 37, Hobbs found herself unable to run without falling; she was diagnosed with ALS and given a life expectancy of up to five years. She is now dependent on a ventilator and feeding tube.

Before my diagnosis, I was very independent. I prided myself on doing things on my own. But I’ve learned that others really want to assist, and it brings them joy knowing they can make a difference, however small.

I always used to plan every single facet of my life. I wish I had been more spontaneous and done things when they crossed my mind. For example, looking out the window and wanting to go for a walk, but doing housework instead. How I yearn for a walk today. Now I give myself grace. I have learned not to compare myself with others. Find what makes you feel meaningful. Remember: you are enough, you are human, and you make a difference.

‘No matter how you feel, get up, get dressed and get out’

Simon Penwright, 52, Buckinghamshire, England

In the early hours of 24 January 2023, Penwright was woken by an unpleasant taste and smell. Doctors discovered three brain tumours, one covering half of his brain. He was diagnosed with an aggressive form of glioblastoma and given less than 12 months to live.

It would be so easy to wake up in the morning and just lie in bed. I’m not a gym person, but when I’ve done a bit of exercise, I feel fantastic. No matter how you feel, get up, get dressed and get out.

If you’re OK one minute, then have a cardiac arrest and you’re gone the next, your options are taken away. So I guess I’m grateful that I can get organised and make the most of my relationships. I’d take this route every time.

‘I’ve stopped caring what others think’

Sukhy Bahia, 39, London, England

Diagnosed with primary breast cancer in 2019, Bahia was given the all-clear by her oncologist in March 2022. Five months later, she discovered the disease had spread to her bones and her liver.

I’m a single mum. It’s heartbreaking because you think you’ll be around for your kids for a really long time. My daughter is nine and my son is six, and I’m completely transparent with them about my health. I’m hoping to leave things for when I’m not here – birthday, graduation, wedding, new home, new baby cards, and a cookbook of all their favourite recipes. I’m also planning video blogs, giving advice on things they may not be comfortable asking anyone else, like consent and puberty.

I want them to know that they never have to impress anyone or try to fit in, and that milestones are bullshit. Nothing needs to be done by a certain age or time; you can always change what you want to do in life.

I’ve stopped caring what other people think of me. From my teens, I always wanted a full sleeve tattoo. Last year I decided to start one with the birth flowers of my children, to show how much they mean to me.

My kids love them; my parents aren’t over the moon, but they accept there are worse things I could be doing with my life.

‘Never create a new regret’

Kevin Webber, 58, Surrey, England

On holiday in 2014, Webber noticed he was visiting the bathroom a lot. Soon after he was diagnosed with prostate cancer and given four years to live.

I don’t have many regrets. Maybe I wish I’d taken my kids to school more. When they grow up, you realise that meeting you had at work, you could have probably moved it back an hour.

In that moment, when you know it’s over, I don’t want to look back with any remorse. You can’t change yesterday. Never creating a new regret is an important way to live your life.

I have three missions every day. Enjoy myself, but never at the expense of someone else. Try to do some good – and that doesn’t have to be raising 10 grand for charity; it can be smiling or giving someone a seat on the bus. And make the best memories, not just for you on your deathbed, so you can lie there and go, “Oh, that was great when I did that”, but for everyone else.

‘I realised what I really wanted to do’

Sophie Umhofer, 42, Warwickshire, England

In 2018, after 10 months of tests for conditions such as IBS and Crohn’s disease, Umhofer was diagnosed with bowel cancer, which had spread to other parts of her body. She was told she could live for three more years.

Initially I felt as if I had to cram the rest of my life into the couple of years I’d been given. I’ve written birthday cards and letters for my kids until they’re 21, preparing them for me not being here.

Obviously I wish it hadn’t been cancer that caused this, but I’ve changed so many things about myself. Before my diagnosis I would get very stressed out. I had this perfectionism when my kids were young that they had to have routines. I spent so much time being worried about things I didn’t need to do. And once I became a mum, I sort of gave up what I wanted to do.

I regret that I didn’t take action for myself a bit more. But this diagnosis meant that all of a sudden, I realised what I really wanted to do. When I was going through chemo I was trying to find things I could do to keep myself entertained, and I started watching motorsport. When I got a bit better I actually entered a competition and got through to the finals. I ended up getting a job in motorsport and now work full-time looking after a team. I wish everybody could see how much better life can be if we change the way we think.

‘Leave the damn house’

Arabella Proffer, 45, Ohio, US

In 2010, Proffer was diagnosed with myxoid sarcoma. Ten years later, the rare form of cancer was found to have spread to her spine, lungs, kidney and abdomen. Told to get her affairs in order, she now plans her life two months at a time.

A year before I was first diagnosed, my husband had joked, “Hey, why don’t we cash out our retirement and follow Motörhead and the Damned on tour through Europe?” When I got the diagnosis, I thought, “We should have done that.”

My mantra is to leave the damn house, because you never know what’s going to happen if you do. No interesting story ever started with, “I went to bed at 9pm on a Tuesday.”

‘Just buy it. Do it. Go and get it’

James Smith, 39, Hampshire, England

In 2019, Smith noticed a twitch, then a weakness in his left arm. Two years later he was diagnosed with motor neurone disease (MND).

When I was told I’ve probably got only a few years to live, my wife was pregnant with our youngest. In the back of your mind you’re thinking, “Am I going to see them get married? Have kids?”

I did turn to alcohol, but it wasn’t doing me any favours; I was using it to block out what I didn’t want to think about, so I nipped it in the bud. Now I’ve come to terms with what I’ve got and I just take every day as it comes. I focus on what I can do, not what I can’t do. I had to give up my career as a barber, but I’ve found a new passion in creating my podcast, which shares my story and those of others to raise awareness of MND. Talking to others and relating to people going through the same situations as me is like therapy.

It’s horrible to say it takes a terminal illness to actually live life, but when I hear people going, “I’d love to do that”, I realise getting diagnosed has put a different perspective on life. I used to think, “I won’t buy that because I don’t know what’s around the corner.” Now it’s just buy it, just do it. If you want something and can afford it, go and get it. If you want to do something and you’ve got the means, go and do it.

‘I soon realised what I liked about life’

Ali Travis, 34, London, England

At 32, Travis began experiencing severe headaches. After an MRI revealed a mass the size of an orange on his brain, he was told he had a glioblastoma and his life expectancy was 12 to 14 months.

Last year was the best year I’ve had because in a very, very short space of time, I realised what I liked about life. It’s the closeness of relationships, old friendships. And, for me, being a geek.

If I’d been hit by a bus, I’d have been a stressed guy with a load of problems who couldn’t see past the end of his nose. So, despite all the surgeries, the constant chemotherapy, the radiotherapy, I would choose this route.

‘Look after yourself first’

Sonja Crosby, 55, Ontario, Canada

In 2012, doctors discovered a tumour on Crosby’s left kidney. She was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer, and most organs were removed from her left side. In 2017 she was given six months to live.

Cancer focused me more precisely than anything else I can think of. When my doctor told me I had a few months left, I said, “Can we put that off another six months? I have this big project at work I want to finish.” He said, “No, you have to be your priority now, not work.”

You can’t manage all aspects of your life. I’ve realised it’s not selfish to look after yourself first, that your friends and family will do a lot more if they know you’re open to receiving help.

‘My favourite saying is: it is what it is’

Rob Jones, 69, Merseyside, England

In October 2012, Jones was told he had bowel cancer that had spread to his liver. He had 27 rounds of chemotherapy.

I’m not a bucket list person; I don’t go through life saying, “I wish I’d done that.” My wife says I’m one of the worst people in the world to buy anything for, because if I want it, I get it. It’s the same in life, if we can afford it. But I’ve never had dreams of doing a world cruise or a flight to America. I’m a home bird really.

I read once that cancer victims are lucky in life, because they generally have a timeframe of when they’re going to die. They can put their life in order, say goodbye to loved ones, ignore all the people they’ve tolerated to be polite. Whereas people who have a massive heart attack and die on the spot, they don’t have that opportunity. I sort of get that now. But I’m not allowed to talk as if the end of the world is nigh, because everybody thinks I’m invincible. Of course, none of us are.

My favourite saying is: it is what it is. If we had the choice, we’d all live a long, happy life. But when would we choose to die? There isn’t a convenient time.

Rob Jones died on 28 July 2023.

‘What’s the point of earning, earning, earning, if there’s no joy in your life?’

Jules Fielder, 39, East Sussex, England

In November 2021, Fielder was diagnosed with double lung cancer, then shortly after told the disease had spread to her spine and both sides of her pelvis.

You get caught up in that world of work: pay your bills, eat dinner, sleep, repeat. But now I truly feel very different about money. What’s the point of earning, earning, earning if there’s no joy in your life? When I watch really power-driven people who want more and more, I want to tell them it’s the small things in life that are beautiful. We live in quite a toxic world, but it’s your choice what you expose yourself to. I get up, I walk my dog, I listen to every single bird that chirps. I’m grateful for that.

‘Be authentically you’

Mike Sumner, 40, Yorkshire, England

While on TV show First Dates in March 2020, Sumner noticed a loss of movement in his foot. Eight months later he was diagnosed with motor neurone disease. He has since married his date, Zoe.

I don’t waste time now. Life is too short to be doing any shit you don’t want to. Concentrate on making the memories you want and never say no, never make excuses. Do things you’ve always wanted to do. We went to Los Angeles to see the Back to the Future set at Universal Studios. I’ve been meaning to go for years. It was our little pilgrimage.

In the short term I keep positive by thinking about weekends, because we often go away and do something fun – next weekend we are going to a classic car show. In the longer term, I look forward to our next holiday – we always go to Orlando. When I feel the warm air on my skin, and hear the crickets of an evening, it lifts me emotionally.

Day-to-day I look forward to Zoe coming home from work so I can give her a cuddle. I look at my model car collection and think about the happy memories I have of driving. When I feel a bit low, I treat myself to something nice to eat – pizza, a burger or a battered haddock – while I can still enjoy food.

You have to be authentically you. But try not to moan because there’s always someone worse off than you. Focus on the positives; there are always some. For example, I’m married to Zoe.

‘Keep things simple’

Alec Steele, 82, Angus, Scotland

In 2020, while in hospital for a routine checkup, Steele collapsed. Tests revealed idiopathic pulmonary fibrosis – which causes scarring on the lungs and leads to difficulty breathing – and he was given a prognosis of one to five years. He now requires a 24-hour oxygen supply.

The first six months after diagnosis were dreadful. I was trying to get all my affairs in order, and I told my medical team I was determined to have one last game of cricket. The physiotherapist and I worked as hard as we could, and in late April 2021 I got my game, wicketkeeping with oxygen strapped to my back. A photographer took a photo and put it on the internet. It is now displayed at the Oval, next to Ben Stokes’s photo. Last year I had 16 games, which has just been wonderful.

I’ve realised I have to keep things as simple as possible. I soon learned that negative thoughts were destructive and I trained my mind to work out those you can do something about and those you can’t. If it’s the latter, discard them. If you can do something, work out what and get started to tackle the problem.

‘Switch every negative to a positive’

Kate Enell, 31, Merseyside, England

In July 2021, less than a month after finding a lump in her breast, Enell, then 28, was diagnosed with stage four breast cancer. It had spread to her liver and bones, and has since moved to her brain.

For two days after being diagnosed I locked myself in the bedroom; I didn’t see or speak to anyone. But on the third day I thought, “Wait – if I’ve only got a short timescale, do I really want my little boy to see me miserable?” Now I just try to do as much as I can while I’m here. I’m quite good at switching my brain now. Say I get upset about not being able to have more children, I switch it round and think, “Well, I am a mum.” Whenever there’s a negative, I try to switch it and keep positive.

I feel like I’ve had some of my best times in the first few years of my diagnosis, because it makes you home in on what’s important. Everybody around me has made more of an effort, we’ve done lots of family events. It’s made us realise that what’s important is spending quality time together.

‘Success, status, reputation – they are not important’

Ian Flatt, 58, Yorkshire, England

Flatt had always led a very active life, but in April 2018 he began struggling with severe fatigue. By the following March he had been diagnosed with MND and he has since lost the use of his legs.

I can categorically say that the things I valued and felt were important are not important. Success, status, reputation – they pay the mortgage, but I think I lost myself a little bit in all that. I’m much more emotional and empathic now. I’ve always been a reasonably popular guy, I have friends that go back 30-odd years, but I’ve never had the depth of friendship that I have now. Or maybe I had it and didn’t appreciate it.

What’s important now, every day, is to find some joy. I look out at the birds, the trees – I’ve a favourite one I can see out of my bedroom window. Through being a bit reckless, I lost the use of my legs sooner than I would have. I remember accepting that and thinking, “OK, I’m not going to walk, so let’s go out in the tangerine dream machine [his off-road wheelchair].” We went out, had a pint of Guinness, and now my memory of that day is a joyful one.

‘Your energy is valuable’

Daniel Nicewonger, 55, Pennsylvania, US

In May 2016, after he started struggling to take a full breath, Nicewonger was told he had colon cancer that had spread to his liver. The prognosis was two years.

It took this to clarify what’s really important. You get very good at saying, “No, I choose not to invest energy and time in this, because my energy and my time is just that much more valuable.” If I could have understood that at 30, I’d have moved through life in a totally different way. But that’s unrealistic. Wisdom is wasted on the young.

‘Don’t mess around. Be direct’

Angus Pratt, 65, British Columbia, Canada

A lump on Pratt’s chest in 2018 led to the discovery of breast and lung cancer. He was given a 5% chance of living to 2023.

I had my diagnosis in May, my wife was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer at the start of October, and by the middle of November she was dead. I had to ask myself the big question: am I leaving behind what I want to leave behind?

I’ve taken on writing assignments, helping scientists translate research into patient-friendly language. Recently I was asked to contribute a painting to an auction, and I was surprised people would pay for my art. One of my joys is a local poetry group that meets in the park. Sometimes we have an open mic. I guess I’m trying to say I’m a poet, too.

I’ve discovered self-confidence. I really don’t care what people think about me any more; it’s not important because I’m going to die. I don’t have time to mess around, so I’m going to be direct. That’s stood me in good stead.

‘I should have trusted myself more’

Henriette van den Broek, 63, Gelderland, the Netherlands

When Van den Brook was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2008, the disease had already spread to her lymph nodes. She was well for a number of years, but in 2020 she discovered that the cancer had spread to her stomach and was terminal.

Every day when I work as a nurse, it feels like a party for me. I realise how meaningful I can still be to other sick people. I enjoy the little things more, dare to have the difficult conversations.

It’s a pity I’m only finding that out now. I feel like I need to catch up on this in a hurry and get the most out of life. I’m discovering the things I’m good at, but I’d have liked to discover them sooner. I should have trusted myself a lot more and been less insecure. I only have the guts now.

‘Treat every smile like it’s your last’

Ricky Marques, 42, St Helier, Jersey

In summer 2022, Marques began to lose weight. In November, a CT scan led to a diagnosis of lung cancer. The disease, which has spread to his bones and lymph nodes, was so advanced that he was given a prognosis of weeks or months.

When I was younger I had a son, and when he was eight, he died in a car accident. My life collapsed and I thought, “How am I going to recover?” When I was diagnosed with terminal cancer I thought, “What else am I going to get? Didn’t I already have my share of bad luck? Don’t I deserve to live?”

The lesson I’ve learned is every time someone smiles at you – a little touch, a little gesture – look at it like it’s the last one because, guess what? Maybe it is.

The Guardian, UK

Nigeria Customs Service (NCS) has adjusted the foreign exchange rate for its tariffs and duties.

The new rates were reflected on the single window trade portal of the federal government.

According to information on the portal, the NCS exchange rate has gone up by 42.5 percent or N404.94 to N1,356.88/$, as of Friday — from the preceding rate of N951.94/$.

The adjustment followed the depreciation of the naira at the Nigerian Autonomous Foreign Exchange Market (NAFEM) — on which customs rate is benchmarked.

At the NAFEM, also known as the official foreign exchange market, the naira closed at N1,461.90/$1 as of Thursday, depreciating from Wednesday’s N1,455.59/$1.

Also, in the parallel market, the naira traded against the dollar at N1,400, compared to the N1,530 rate reported the previous day.

Among other tariffs, the NCS collects customs duties in Nigeria, levied on imports.

Rates vary for different items, typically from 5 percent to 35 percent, and are assessed with reference to the prevailing harmonised commodity and coding system (HS code).

Reacting to the increase, Jonathan Nicole, president of the Shippers Association of Lagos (SAL), said the new exchange rate for cargo clearance would increase inflation.

“There have been a lot of sad stories as regards doing business in our domain – the maritime sector,” he said.

“The new exchange rate will increase inflation and businesses will be grossly affected, terminating projections before imports. The rate will affect the manufacturing sector and goods and services will increase. The cost of transportation will skyrocket.

“At the end of a transaction, the general public will be made to pay for the failure of our economic policies. Unemployment will increase and some companies are shutting down already due to paucity of funds.”

Nicole said the success of a country is determined by the management of the commonwealth for all.

He added that where the “citizens are impoverished, the nation becomes epileptic and this is what is happening at the moment”.

Nicole told the government to ensure fair distribution of the nation’s resources for all and sundry and also advised shippers to brace up for tougher policies noting that the current exchange rate would not be the last.

The Cable

Central Bank of Nigeria has banned banks and fintechs from International Money Transfer Operations.

In its ‘Guidelines on International Money Transfer Services in Nigeria,’ the apex bank said, “All banks are prohibited from operating International Money Transfer services but can act as agents.

“Also, financial technology companies are not allowed to obtain approval for IMTO.

The new guidelines by the CBN are meant to guide the IMTOs in conducting money remittances in compliance with the regulatory framework established by the CBN.”

This new guideline raises concerns about the fate of fintechs like Flutterwave, Interswitch, Paga, and others, which have IMTO licences from the CBN.

The apex bank also increased the minimum share capital requirement for IMTO operators to $1m.

Listing requirement to be an operator the bank stated, “Any IMTO intending to operate in Nigeria shall submit its application to the Director, Trade and Exchange Department with the following documents: A non-refundable application fee of N10,000,000 or such other amount that the bank may specify from time to time; payable to the CBN through electronic transfer or bank draft.

“Approval to operate in other jurisdictions or agency agreements (for all IMTOs). Minimum share capital of $1m for foreign IMTOs and the equivalent for indigenous IMTOs.”

Punch

The Super Eagles put up a professional performance to eke out a 1-0 win over surprise quarterfinalists Angola. A first half goal from Ademola Lookman, his third in the tournament, was all the Nigerians needed to book their place in the semi-final for the 16th time, where they will take on DR Congo or Guinea, who play the second quarterfinal later on Friday night.

Stanley Nwabali was fit enough to start in goal, and coach Jose Peseiro went with the same team that defeated Cameroon. Nwabali kept his fourth consecutive clean sheet to become the third Nigerian goalkeeper to keep four consecutive clean slates at the AFCON after Best Ogedegbe in 1980 and Ike Shorunmu in 2002.

The Eagles could have scored in the first minute with a loose ball in the Angola box, but Frank Onyeka’s shot was blocked after Ademola Lookman failed to get the ball on target. The Palancas Negras threatened immediately after through Agostinho Mabululu, but Nwabali diverted his shot for a corner kick.

In the 23rd minute, Osimhen threatened with a header, but Antonio Signori held on. The Napoli forward had another chance for a header in the 35th minute, but he glanced the ball out. Angola pushed back and won back-to-back corners in the 36th and 38th minutes.

And then Lookman struck. Moses Simon sped past Kialonda Gaspar, and with Osimhen’s run taking away other defenders, Lookman rifled the ball past Signori into the roof of the net. The Eagles created another goal-scoring chance in the third minute of added time in the first half, but Zaidu Sanusi dithered in the box and lost the opportunity to cross.

Nigeria had more ball possession in the first stanza, more shots on target, and comfortable control of the contest.

The second half saw Angola coach Soares Goncalves introduce Zini for Estrela as the Angolans sought new ways to breach the Eagles’ resilient defence. Osimhen teed up Alex Iwobi on the edge of the Angola box, but his shot was blocked for a corner kick. Sanusi had a shooting chance, but his shot was wide off target.

In the 59th minute, Angola produced their best goal-scoring chance after Iwobi had turned over possession. Fredy, quiet all evening, slid the ball through the Nigerian defence, and Zini was one-on-one with Nwabali, but his shot struck the post, and Ekong cleared the immediate danger.

Simon weaved past two Angola defenders on the hour, but his shot was blocked as the Eagles tried to find a second insurance goal. Sanusi played his free-kick over the wall, but it was tame and comfortably gathered by Signori. The Eagles thought they had that second goal in the 75th minute, but Osimhen had strayed marginally offside before heading past Signori.

VAR drew their lines, and Osimhen’s wait for a second AFCON goal continued. In the 81st minute, Lookman fed Osimhen, who created a shooting chance, but his shot was blocked. Nwabali was called to make two saves as the Eagles held on for their fourth consecutive clean sheet and a place in the semifinal, the 16th in the country’s history.

PT

A bride, and at least 30 women accompanying the bride to her new home were abducted by gunmen along Gamji Road in Dandume Local Government Area of Katsina State on Thursday night.

The women, with the bride, were travelling in a truck to Ungwan Murjiya village between 8:30 and 9:00 pm when they were ambushed by the assailants. A local source reported that the truck conductor was shot and is currently receiving treatment at Damari Hospital.

In a separate incident around the same time, gunmen believed to be from Siddi forest in Kaduna State entered Tashar Nadaya village, near the Gazari district border of Sabuwa LGA, killing a motorcycle rider and stealing his motorbike. They also opened fire on four other people and stole their motorcycles.

The Dandume Local Government Council Chairman, Alhaji Basiru Musa, confirmed the kidnappings. He added that there were unconfirmed reports of some women escaping, but would investigate the rumors and provide further updates. He also clarified that the women were residents of Dandume, and they were abducted while returning from Sabuwa Local Government Area around 9:00 pm.

Both Sabuwa and Dandume are frequent targets by bandits in Katsina State. Despite efforts by security forces, these criminal activities continue to occur regularly.

Vanguard

Hamas says it's studying Gaza cease-fire proposal, but appears to rule out key provisions

Hamas officials said Friday that the group is studying a proposed cease-fire deal that would include prolonged pauses in fighting in Gaza and swaps of Israeli hostages for Palestinian prisoners, but the militants appeared to rule out some key components.

Hamas remains committed to its initial demands for a permanent cease-fire, the group’s top political leader Ismail Haniyeh and a senior Beirut-based official, Osama Hamdan, said. Hamdan also said the group seeks the release of thousands of Palestinian prisoners being held for acts related to the conflict with Israel, including those serving life sentences.

He mentioned two by name, including Marwan Barghouti, a popular Palestinian uprising leader seen as a unifying figure. Hamdan’s comments on the prisoners were the most detailed demands yet raised by the group in public.

The insistence on large-scale prisoner releases and an end to the fighting in Gaza put the group at odds with the multi-stage proposal that officials from Egypt, Israel, Qatar and the United States put forth this week. That proposal does not include a permanent cease-fire.

After days of expressing optimism over progress toward a deal, mediators were still working to close wide gaps between Israel and Hamas. U.S. Secretary of State Antony Blinken planned to fly to the region Sunday to help push the efforts, making stops in Saudi Arabia, Egypt, Qatar, Israel and the West Bank, the State Department said.

Haniyeh said in a statement Friday that negotiations must “completely end” the Israeli offensive in Gaza and bring the withdrawal of Israeli forces — demands that Israel has rejected.

Referring to the proposal for successive pauses in fighting, Hamdan told Lebanon’s LBC television: “There is no way that this will be acceptable by the resistance.”

Israeli leaders have said they will keep fighting until Hamas, which has ruled Gaza since 2007, is crushed, even while agreeing to long pauses that are accompanied by the release of hostages.

Hamas and other militants captured about 250 hostages during their deadly Oct. 7 attack on southern Israel that triggered the war. They continue to hold dozens of captives, after more than 100 were released during a one-week truce in November. Those releases were in exchange for 240 Palestinian prisoners.

Since Israel’s offensive began, more than 27,000 Palestinians have been killed and 66,000 wounded, according to Gaza’s Health Ministry. The conflict has also leveled vast swaths of the tiny coastal enclave, displaced 85% of its population and pushed a quarter of residents to starvation.

Hamdan also said Hamas wants to free Palestinian prisoners of all factions — not just those affiliated with the militant group. In addition to Barghouti, he named Ahmed Saadat, the head of the Popular Front for the Liberation of Palestine, a small PLO faction.

The prisoner release is a “national cause, not only for Hamas,” he said.

Both Barghouti and Saadat were convicted of involvement in fatal attacks during the second Palestinian uprising against Israel’s occupation a generation ago.

Alluding to additional points of dispute, Hamdan also said that Israel is carving out a buffer zone on the Gaza side of the border. Israel has not acknowledged such plans officially, but satellite photos show new demolition in a 1-kilometer-wide (0.6-mile-wide) swath within Gaza along the border with Israel.

As the war nears the four-month mark, fighting continued in the southern city of Khan Younis. The Israeli military said Friday that its efforts focused on fighters, weapons and infrastructure in the city, a key target of Israel’s ground offensive in recent weeks.

Israeli fire hit the headquarters of the Palestinian Red Crescent at Khan Younis’ Amal Hospital on Friday, killing four people, including a Red Crescent staffer, the organization said. It was the third staff member killed this week.

Israeli troops have surrounded the hospital for 12 days amid heavy bombardment and gunfire, and supplies are running out, the Red Crescent said. It called for a safe corridor to evacuate patients.

Tens of thousands of residents of Khan Younis and surrounding areas have fled south to the town of Rafah, on the border with Egypt, where already more than a million people from across Gaza have taken refuge. Israeli Defense Minister Yoav Gallant said Thursday that after Israeli troops seize Khan Younis, they will move on Rafah, though he did not give a time frame. That prospect has raised fears about where the population would go to find safety.

The United Nations said Rafah is becoming a “pressure cooker of despair.”

“We fear for what comes next,” said Jens Laerke, spokesman for the U.N. Office for the Coordination of Humanitarian Affairs. “It’s like every week we think, you know, it can’t get any worse. Well, go figure. It gets worse.”

Another Hamas official said Friday that the group would give its reply on the cease-fire proposal “very soon” and ask for several unspecified changes. He refused to give any details on what they’re seeking or how many hostages would be released in return for how many prisoners.

Qatar and Egypt have been serving as mediators between Israel and Hamas. A senior Egyptian official familiar with the discussions described the multi-stage proposal, which he said Hamas had sent positive signals about. The Egyptian official and the Hamas official spoke on condition of anonymity because the indirect talks are still ongoing.

The proposal, according to the Egyptian official, includes an initial cease-fire of six to eight weeks during which Hamas would release elderly hostages, women and children in return for hundreds of Palestinians jailed by Israel.

Throughout that phase, negotiations would continue on prolonging the cease-fire and releasing more prisoners and hostages. Israel would allow the number of aid trucks entering Gaza to increase up to 300 daily — from a few dozen currently — and let displaced Gaza residents gradually return to their homes in the north, according to the proposal.

AP

RUSSIAN PERSPECTIVE

Russian military reports gains against Ukrainian troops

The Russian military is making advances at multiple locations along the frontline in the Donetsk People’s Republic (DPR), according to a daily press briefing of the country’s Defense Ministry released on Friday.

Over the past 24 hours, Moscow’s troops have inflicted heavy casualties on the adversary, amounting to up to 795 servicemen. The DPR saw intense combat at multiple locations, with the troops “taking up better positions”near the village of Klescheevka, located to the southwest of the town of Artyomovsk (known in Ukraine as Bakhmut). The small village has been experiencing heavy combat for months, following the liberation of Artyomovsk early last year.

The Russian military reported destroying multiple pieces of military hardware, including assorted armored and soft vehicles, as well as several artillery pieces, including two US-made M777 towed howitzers. The military said it conducted multiple long-range attacks on Ukrainian ammunition stockpiles, troops, and hardware assembly points in more than 100 locations.

On Thursday, the Russian Defense Ministry reported making advances and “taking up better positions,” including in the vicinity of the DPR town of Liman. Liberated early into the ongoing conflict, the town fell back under Ukrainian control in late 2022.

Russian Defense Minister Sergey Shoigu revealed fresh estimates on the casualties sustained by  Ukrainian forces over the past month. All in all, Ukraine lost more than 23,000 troops in January, the minister claimed during a meeting with top Russian military commanders on Friday, stating his forces now “hold the strategic initiative along the entire line of contact.”

Over the past month, the Ukrainian military has also suffered heavy equipment losses, with over 3,000 heavy hardware pieces destroyed. The losses include multiple US-supplied Bradley infantry fighting vehicles, HIMARS multiple rocket launcher systems, German-supplied Leopard main battle tanks and other hardware provided to Kiev by its Western sponsors, according to Shoigu.

WESTERN PERSPECTIVE

Ukraine's Zelenskiy hails arrival of new air defence systems

Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskiy welcomed the arrival on Friday of two new air defence systems that he said could "shoot down anything".

Zelenskiy also said that he and his top commanders had discussed conditions along the 1000-km (600-mile) frontline of the war against Russia, singling out the situation in the beleaguered town of Avdiivka as "extraordinarily difficult".

In his nightly video address, the president pointedly said he could give no details of the newly arrived air defence systems but described them as the culmination of "working tirelessly at various levels for months".

"But these are systems that can shoot down anything," he said. "We will be protecting the regions. And while the systems are not yet sufficient for the complete defence of Ukraine, we are working towards that goal every day."

Beefing up air defence has been one of the key priorities for defending cities, towns and infrastructure against Russian missile and drone attacks.

Zelenskiy has previously lauded the U.S.-made Patriot air defence system as critical to safeguarding Ukrainian skies and able to down all types of Russian missiles.

And U.S. Under Secretary of State Victoria Nuland said in Kyiv this week that a new "small-diameter" bomb able to hit targets at greater distances would soon arrive in the country.

Zelenskiy's account of Friday's command meeting said one of the reports was presented by Armed Forces Commander in Chief Valery Zaluzhnyi. Unconfirmed news reports have suggested this week that the president intended to fire the commander.

The two men have had differences for months about the conduct of the war after last year's Ukrainian counter-offensive produced only limited results.

Zelenskiy said "special attention" had been given at the meeting to the situation in Avdiivka, which has been under sustained Russian attack for more than three months. Officials say not a single building in the town remains intact.

The General Staff of Ukraine's armed forces, in its evening report, said its forces had repelled 19 attacks around the town in eastern Donetsk region and a further 10 in nearby areas.

The town was briefly captured in 2014 by pro-Russian forces who seized large chunks of territory but later retaken by Ukraine. It is seen as a gateway to the regional centre of the Russian-held city of Donetsk, about 20 km to the east.

A former Ukrainian commander, Yevhen Dykiy, told the Espreso TV media outlet that Russian forces would be unable to seize Avdiivka through frontal attacks but they were getting closer to the sole road bringing in supplies.

"There is a risk that the Ukrainian armed forces may have to withdraw from Avdiivka," Dykiy said.

RT/Reuters

The owner of a trucking company in China landed in hot water with law enforcement after she admitted to installing GPS tracking devices on police cars in her area to help her trucks avoid them.

A woman in Xiangyang, Hubei province can consider herself lucky to have been slapped with eight days of administrative detention and a 500 yuan ($70) fine for a very serious crime – tracking the movements of police cars with the help of hidden GPS devices. Her scheme was accidentally discovered during a routine checkup when the traffic law enforcement brigade in Xiangyang found a mysterious black box attached to the chassis of one of their patrol cars. Further inspection revealed that the box contained a GPS tracker, which was subsequently found on six of the brigade’s 11 vehicles. By following the trail of the SIM cards associated with the tracking devices, authorities were able to find the culprit, a local woman named Zhu who admitted to tracking the movements of the police cars.

As the owner of a trucking fleet, Zhu came up with the idea of tracking local traffic patrol vehicles in order to increase her drivers’ chances of avoiding being pulled over and potentially fined. She admitted to carrying out the installation of the GPS trackers herself, by taking advantage of the police vehicles’ late-night parking at a Xiangzhou station.

Zhu bought six magnetic GPS trackers online for 350 yuan in June of last year and used them to track the cars via an app on her phone until late last month. She was thus able to pinpoint the locations of traffic police cars and alert her drivers to avoid them.

Such bold actions would be considered serious crimes in the Western world, but according to China Daily, Zhu only received an eith-day administrative detention and a 500 yuan fine, which sounds disproportionately trivial.

Oddity Central

It all began for me with a one-year public commitment to walk 20,000 steps a day, and to share my step count, a daily photo, and my insights on Facebook and Instagram.

I had been on a fitness journey for 10 years. I started as a runner. I eventually realized I enjoyed walking so much more so I made the decision to stop running and walk even more.

Five years later, I wanted to encourage and motivate others to do the same, so I started a blog and kicked it off with that splashy, public commitment to walk 20,000 steps every day.

The thing is, I had already been doing that for six months, and would continue for another year after the public commitment ended.

My journey started in the middle of March 2018 and in those two and a half years to August 31, 2020, I learned a great deal; in particular, five important lessons.

One: The Importance of a Pre-decision to Commit

I made a pivotal decision before starting: Whatever was going on in my life that day, I would always reach 20,000 steps. It made all the difference.

It meant I didn't wake up wondering how many steps I'd take; I just figured out how to achieve it. Even on tough days, like when my wife had breast cancer surgery, I found myself pacing the hospital's parking garage.

There was only one day, around six months in, that I was five steps short of 20,000. I didn't realize until weeks later and I think it was simply that I forgot to check my steps before I went to bed, so didn't finish the last few I needed to cross the line.

In the beginning, my emotions fluctuated each day. Some days, I was excited about reaching the 20,000 and how I was going to achieve that. Other days I just didn't feel like it.

I remember one day in particular about two months after I started. It was a cold and rainy afternoon and I still had a lot of steps to get through. I looked out the window thinking: What have I done? Why did I say I was going to do this?

But because I had already made that vital pre-decision to always follow through, I went on and did those 20,000 steps.

Two: Use the Emotional Payoff as Motivation

While the emotions on the front end of every day changed, what I felt at the end of the day having reached that goal was consistent: A sense of accomplishment and a deep satisfaction with myself.

That end-of-day feeling never changed, and it became the motivation on some days because I knew how great I would feel once I had completed all my steps.

Three: The Power of Personal Competition

I learned that competing against myself is a huge motivator. I may not be able to compete against you or other people, but I can compete against myself by setting personal challenges.

This was a powerful motivator, and it has continued to be a useful tool for me even after I stopped walking 20,000 steps a day.

For example, four years ago, my wife and I decided to drastically change our lives and move 500 miles away. I needed to do a lot of work on our house before it could sell and gave myself an unreasonable deadline to get it all done.

I was getting used to these personal challenges and actually beat my own deadline. This commitment to fitness can have far-reaching effects.

Four: The Realization I Can Do Hard Things

I walked 20,000 steps a day for two-and-a-half years. I did it. And that's hard!

I don't have a personal history of leaning into the difficult things in life. I've given up or failed at a lot of hard situations or challenges, and I've doubted my resilience.

But not this time. I did a hard thing every single day for a long period, and that consistency showed me I can do it. It is an incredibly rewarding feeling to know what you're capable of.

The day after we moved into our new house, my wife was in a terrible car crash that put her in a wheelchair for two months.

During those early weeks of recovery, she needed me to help her with just about everything. It was really hard, but I now had a history of doing hard things

Five: My True Strength

Beyond the physical benefits of walking 20,000 steps a day, and the huge improvements to my fitness, this journey made me feel emotionally and mentally strong.

I realized I could do a hard thing...and do it for a while. Before this two-and-a-half year streak began, I knew I could walk 20,000 steps in a day. I even knew I could do it for a few days.

But I didn't know if I had the mental strength to build a streak this long. This challenge flipped my internal narrative on its head. Now I know I'm capable of far more than I believed before.

Taking Control Again

With all these benefits and insights, you might wonder why I stopped at two-and-a-half years.

It wasn't due to injury or sickness. I simply decided that it was becoming too big a feature of my life, and was actually starting to control it.

I didn't want this fitness activity to control me, but rather be something that I am in control of, and using in pursuit of my health and wellness.

The decision to stop wasn't easy. But I had to make it for my own wellbeing.

The truth is that you don't need to walk 20,000 steps every day. You don't even need 10,000 steps, particularly if you're only at the beginning of your fitness journey.

Start with a commitment to walk every day for 10 minutes and stick at it so this becomes an established habit. Then you can build from there and enjoy all the benefits to your life that walking has to offer.

** David Paul hosts Walking Is Fitness, a daily ten-minute podcast helping people to begin a new fitness journey that sticks.

Newsweek