Skits literally crack ribs with laughter. The line separating fact from fiction or faction (fact and fiction) in skits is paper-thin. An instance was a skit cobbled together in Addis Ababa on January 11, 1976 at an OAU Extraordinary Session on Angola. This high-octane skit was documented by General Joe Nanven Garba in his Diplomatic Soldiering 

(1987). Garba was a Langtang-born Federal Commissioner for External Affairs under Murtala Muhammed and Olusegun Obasanjo. Self-titled ‘Field Marshal’ Idi Amin Dada, the notorious Ugandan despot, was then the OAU chairman. It was at that conference that General Muhammed delivered his famous and powerful speech he entitled “Africa has come of age.” In it, he called for an African self-determination, as opposed to a provocative letter written by American president Gerald Ford opposing Soviet-backed MPLA. It was also a time when African Heads of State were locked in acrimonious relationships. That conference was where Dada, a title-besotting despot, added “Dr.” to the list of his titles. Present were African leaders whose memories evoke mythical remembrances, like Julius Nyerere, Kenneth Kaunda, Leopold Sedar Senghor, among others.

At some point, Dada interjected Heads of State delivering their speeches. He said he was so impressed by the quality of their speeches that they could all jolly well award themselves doctorate degrees! Nyerere, with his fabled contempt for Dada, momentarily stood up. There was pin-drop silence. The Tanzanian president said he knew Dada’s propensity for awarding himself ranks and titles and that since he had already awarded himself a ‘Field Marshal,’ it would not be out of place for him to add ‘doctor’ to the list. However, said Nyerere, if Dada did, the Ugandan despot would be “a confused doctor.” This provoked general laughter and applauses. Confused on what the laughter was about, Dada himself enthusiastically joined the applauses, until an OAU official whispered the import of Nyerere’s comment to him. Idi Amin then suddenly stopped clapping and immediately wore the demeanour of a wooden mask. Talking about skits in high places!

One of the features of a skit is its short duration. Nigeria was shown one last week. Speaker of the House of Representatives, Tajudeen Abbas, apparently in a moment of power drunken stupor, sponsored a bill which, from its purport, seeks to backtrack Nigeria towards Dada’s Uganda. When the news came, it looked like a badly scripted skit. The bill, nicknamed the Counter Subversion Bill, sought to punish any actions deemed subversive. Infractions included destruction of national symbols, refusing to recite the national anthem and pledge, defacing a place of worship, undermining the Federal Government, among others. A fine of N5 million, a 10-year prison sentence, or both were suggested recompenses. It has all the trappings of Soviet Russia. Apparently wary of a system-shaking EndSARS protest, the Bill also sought to impose a five-year jail term against anyone found guilty of erecting an "illegal road block", while also handing down a three-year sentence for "disobeying constituted authority".

If you know how the Nigerian establishment is wired, you will know that Tajudeen was its Man Friday sent to test the waters. Or that Abbas is a groveling, uncritical legislator ready to lick the spittle of his sponsors. A river you intend to swim in is first tested with a thrust of the foot (Bíbì làá bi odò wò ká tó wòó). Though Abbas withdrew his hand from the pot of soup that enticed him badly after widespread criticisms, Nigerians must seek to find out what lured the Speaker into this coup against the people in the first instance. It is evident that our leaders fancy travelling down the road of infamy and autocracy. This bill is in league with the Anti-social Media Bill sponsored by Senator Mohammed Sani Musa in November 2019. Aimed at criminalizing the use of the social media, Musa’s bill was eventually put aside. Surely an untidy attempt at cracking down on voices of dissent, as Thomas Jefferson admonished the world, which critically holds true for us as Nigerians, the price of liberty is eternal vigilance. The government of today has shown that it adores the tail of the tiger of anti-free speech and has been fiddling with it.

Unbeknown to it, for centuries, the world has put up with real life rib-cracking, drama-like entertainments in high and low places. They could jolly well have been skits. Wherever there are no consequences for actions, grotesque things happen in sequences. Nigeria is a country where consequences have been interred. It is a place where the wolf swallows huge bones regardless of its repercussions on its alimentary canal. The bone may look harmless and even easy to swallow. The consequences come when it is time to ease it out through the anus.

This was why elders counsel that a wolf that does not have faith in the size of its own anus should run away from big bones (Bí ìdí ìkokò kò bá dáa lójú, kìí gbe egungun mì). Here, Nigerians swallow bones weightier than their wolf’s anus. It is same reason why okra plants are never allowed to grow taller than the Onírè – its farmer. In saner climes, this is the creed. The okra plant that grows majestically taller than the farmer is forcibly plucked or gets its head bowed. The Onírè is the symbolism of an all-powerful state. It is equipped with the power of coercion and sometimes, empathy. If you run foul of the Onírè, it seldom gives room for any excuses. However, in recent times, when some events happen in Nigeria, most times, you need to subject your flesh to a painful pinch. Are they drama, real life events or merely surreal? Or, perhaps, we are audiences watching a grotesque skit, with its panoply of unreal humour and tear-provoking amusement?

Nigeria was treated to another skit last week. Ex-President Olusegun Obasanjo had hosted some members of the House of Representatives. There, he alleged that Nigerian legislators fix their salaries. If you ask Nigerians to name one institution they perceive as a colossal burden to them and a waste, it will be the National Assembly. Indeed, Nigerians believe that if Nigeria must move forward, an urgent caesarian section must be done to prise off the two parliaments’ humongous drain on Nigeria’s resources. However, the Revenue Mobilisation Fiscal Allocation Commission 

(RMAFC) promptly denied Obasanjo’s allegation.

As far as Nigerians were concerned, RMAFC was making the usual Nigerian establishment shock-horror skit. Its skit was woven round an apparently misleading claim that each of the 109 senators earns ₦1,063,860 salary and allowances per month. It never talked about the allowances. Senate spokesman, Yemi Adaramodu, also curated a more laughable skit. The Red Chamber only collects salary allocated by the RMAFC, goes his ribaldry. It beggars belief that the Godswill Akpabio senate would embark on this junket of untruths. Shehu Sani, who represented Kaduna Central, in an X tweet, once affirmed that he, alongside his senate colleagues, got paid N13.5 million monthly in “running cost,” as well as a N750,000 monthly salary. Last Wednesday, in an interview with the BBC Hausa Service, the lawmaker representing Kano South, Sumaila Kawu, contrary to Adaramodu and RMAFC, disclosed that while he collects about N1m as salary, his total take-home was N21 million. These are different from the N100 billion constituency project funds. Nigerians know that these in-parliament-for-business lawmakers control awards of contracts for the projects.

There is also this shock-horror skit that has refused to leave Nigerians’ minds. It was the drama between the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC) and erstwhile governor of Kogi State, Yahaya Bello. Bello has been slammed with a 19-count charge bordering on alleged money laundering, breach of trust and misappropriation of funds to the tune of N80.2 billion. A huff and puff by the EFCC chairman, Ola Olukoyede, followed. Olukoyede immediately vowed to resign his job if he didn’t bring Bello to justice. The ex-governor, uncharacteristic of his cowardly gut, labeled White Lion, raced like a frightened hare from the grips of justice. Willfully volunteered information revealed that, like an impala running from a cackle of hungry hyenas, the castrated Lion, hitherto holed up in the Kogi Government House. Words from the grapevine say the Lion has escaped the wide and is roaming about in a foreign land. And there is calm and silence on the home front. No one has resigned their job. Everyone is going about their normal business. The whole hue and cry was a mere skit. And we have lived happily ever after.

Last week, both the state and its citizens were entwined in yet another wedlock of comedy. And Nigerians didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. In 1697, while premiering his play, The Mourning Bride, English playwright, William Congreve, forewarned us about the fury of the female gender. Zara, a queen is held captive by Manuel, King of Granada. Congreve tells us how an intricate web of love, affection and deception led to the mistaken murder of the King who is in disguise. Zara also mistakenly committed suicide as response to Manuel’s death. The warning from the play to humanity, which has lasted centuries, is in a quote which says, “Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, nor Hell a fury like a woman scorned.”

This manifested at the Murtala Muhammed Airport right in Lagos. The aircraft conveying Favour Igiebor, her husband and kids had arrived the Lagos airport from Europe. In recent time, countrymen have accused Nigerian government of misguided flaunt of its brawns. While Nigerians are hungry, their country’s muscles and sinews flexing has intensified. Law-enforcement agencies are getting tough on protecting Nigeria’s national symbols. Leading cross-dresser, Bobrisky, had been jailed in an unexampled clamp-down on currency mutilators at social gigs. So, unbeknown to many, Favour Igiebor was pregnant. Pregnant with matrimonial anger. In a viral video, the world watched agape as the woman, shouting at her husband, tore the hapless man’s Nigerian passport. Torn pieces of the passport were scattered on the airport floor. "I tore it," she yelled, apparently exasperated. In spite of themselves, buffeted by governmental mis-policies, patriotism took the better of Nigerians who railed at the woman’s unpatriotic action. What kind of domestic anger would escalate to this level of national disregard for Nigeria?

In another viral video, Igiebor justified her action as that of a traumatized and distraught woman suffering the weight of matrimonial yoke. The Nigeria Immigration Service (NIS) immediately threatened to arrest Igiebor as destroying the country’s passport was a criminal offence, punishable by a year sentence. A disoriented National Orientation Agency, (NOA) perpetually in a sleeping mode, also immediately sprung up to disown Igiebor’s action.

A few days after, the Mr. Igiebor, Favour’s husband, in another viral video, claimed that the whole passport-tearing episode was a skit. He also claimed that the document his wife tore was not a passport. Since then, mum has been the word from the NIS. If one can correctly profile Nigeria, there will be no consequences for this action. In this Igiebor matter, the world saw a torn document which Favour herself, in moment of spousal anger, affirmed was a torn passport. Why didn’t Mr Igiebor show us the un-torn passport?

Not to worry. This is Nigeria. A shock-horror skit. The skit that Nigeria has become ranges from the ribald to the nauseating. Sometimes, the Onire – the Nigerian state itself – neglecting its awesome powers, becomes the equivalent of an elderly man who strewn corns round his waist. When he is embarrassingly surrounded by chickens, he is scorned as architect of his own shame. In some other skits, Nigerians make selves laughing stocks, abetted by the state. Like Mr. and Mrs. Igiebor.

Another major skit that Nigeria has flaunted without let is our comatose refineries. Their fitting mirror is the Abiku (the dying and given-birth-to-intermittently) Port Harcourt refinery child. In skits, the more you look at Nigeria’s refineries, the less you see. The refinery has undergone so many reverses on its operational dates. This bottomless hole however does not reverse its gobbling of billions of dollars. Mele Kyari, under whom NNPC has ailed and gasped in death throes, is the hero of the skit, even as he luxuriates like maggots in a sewer. It is so laughable that the most fitting epithet for Nigeria’s and the Port Harcourt refinery should be Nigeria’s National Refinery Skit.

Then, Nigeria had its most engaging skit ever same last week. A French court had ruled that three Nigerian presidential jets be seized in a long-standing dispute with a Chinese company, Zhongshan Fucheng Industrial Investment. The presidency fumed like an injured cobra. And rightly so. The skit in this aircraft seizure is however the allegation that jets which courted national row recently were part of the seizure. In a Nigeria afflicted by presidential-induced excruciating hunger, purchasing jets for Nigeria’s president seemed more urgent than the livelihoods of the suffering people. The allegation had been bandied about for a couple of months now that the presidency had procured the multiple of billion Naira-worth jets surreptitiously and wheeled them to France. Yet, Nigerians are daily encouraged to tighten their belts in national sacrifice.

Highly applauded investigative journalist, David Hundeyin, same last week on his X handle, alleged that our president has migrated from the Maybach S-Class known to be the official automobile of Nigerian presidents. Recently, said Hundeyin, our president also procured some armored Cadillac Escalade SUVs. This was a man whom his vice, Kashim Shettima, in another presidential shock-horror skit, claimed lives such an austere life that he goes about with only one wristwatch! The Cadillac SUVs must be worth enough to send hunger packing from the tummies of citizens of a state in Nigeria. The Cadillac, among other features, has in-built gadgets that can withstand attacks from powerful weaponry, including improved explosive devices (IEDs). We are happy for our sybaritic president dressed in borrowed robes by his vice.

Uniting Tajudeen Abbas’ Idi Amin Dada-like Bill, Mr. & Mrs. Igiebor’s attempt to hoodwink the system by falsely labeling a dog we can all see monkey, Tinubu’s seized jets, Port Harcourt’s reversible refinery, legislators’ jumbo salary and Yahaya Bello/EFCC’s ding-dong is absence of national truth. Our leaders are enveloped in shrouds of barefaced lies. The led are not any better. Yet, we collectively desire genuine national development. Our case is akin to that of a man who wants the head of a tortoise and its legs but doesn’t want the animal in its entirety. Nigeria is a joke!

The eternal God is thy refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms: and he shall thrust out the enemy from before thee; and shall say, Destroy them. Israel then shall dwell in safety alone: the fountain of Jacob shall be upon a land of corn and wine; also his heavens shall drop down dew~ Deuteronomy 33:27-28.

Introduction:

It’s true to life that the enemy occasionally comes to our life-spaces to steal, kill and destroy (John 10:10). But the good-news is that God has an alternative plan of greatness for His children. He called us out to be showpieces of His glory (1Peter 2.9).

God is the source of all true strength, and it is absolutely beautiful to note how our strength for overcoming afflictions and resisting temptations comes from Him. His grace is ever sufficient for all those who put their trust in Him.

Now, the power of God’s might is the power which His Arms supply. God outstretches His mighty Arm from above to draw His people out of the many waters of their fearful experiences, and to deliver them from their strong enemies (Psalm 18:16).

In the Bible, the human arm often emblematizes spiritual strength or power (Genesis 49:24). By the same token, the Arm of the Lord is a symbol of the divine military power (Psalm 89:13). We must always acknowledge this, and expect its wonderful manifestations in every affair of our lives.

When we truly believe God, recognizing and celebrating His outstretched Arm, Hisillimitable power is made available to us in Christ Jesus. The Bible says that the hand of the Lord is very glorious in power (Exodus15:6).

The more God’s wondrous works are known and experienced in our lives, the more they are admired and the much more they show up in the interplay of events inour generation. This is a great revelation that we must keep in our hearts, and forcefully engage in so as to enjoy supernatural exploits in our Christian enterprises.

All ancient heroes and heroines of faith understood this pretty well. They were quite familiar with the operations of God’s mighty Arm, and they never joked with it! For instance, the apostle Paul glowingly admonished the believers to be very strong in the power of God’s Might, which is made exceedingly great for the believer (Ephesians 1:19; 6:10).

Even the more ancient Prophet Isaiah enthused, “Who hath believed our report?and to whom is the arm of the Lord revealed?” (Isaiah 53:1). Of course, we have exciting accounts of some of the things that the “finger” of the Lord did in times past, creating a path in the sea, wounding Egypt very badly, and so on, to deliver His covenant people. Thus, we can gleefully imagine what the entirety of His “Arm” can accomplish!

This is the Arm that didn’t allow Peter to go under when he walked upon the water. It was the same Arm that held his net after his great draught of fish so that the net was not broken (John 21:11). This same Everlasting Arm now teaches our arms to war and our fingers to do battles victoriously. Alleluia!

Amazingly, this divine Arm can be awoken if it ever becomes dormant in us, or asleep as it were, due to our inactivity, apathy or indolence. When the divine Arm awakes, “Rahab” is cut off and the “dragons” are wounded (Isaiah 51:9). Rahab here is a poetical name for Egypt (Psalm 89:10; Isaiah 30:7).

Excitingly, the same Almighty Power that smote Egypt in those days is the same power that scatters the enemies of the Church today, and causes all who trust in God’s mercy to rejoice in His name. Unarguably, the Lord’s counsels from eternity, and their consequences to eternity, are all justice and judgment!

When God Outstretches His Arm

The Arm of the Lord is His scepter of war (Isaiah 59:19)! Whenever it is outstretched, it comes with fury against the adversaries to crush them and rescue us from imminent dangers. No devil can ever contemn it.

The outstretched Arm of God takes over our battles and delivers us from the hands of our adversaries. Nevertheless, the Arm also blesses, lifting God’s people higher, giving them a new name and making their victories incontestable.

Generally, whenever the Lord outstretches His holy Arm, the earth rejoices in His salvation (Isaiah 52:10). The Arm is not only mighty to save, but also secure to hold (Isaiah 40:10-11). In the real sense, “the arm of the Lord” is Jesus Christ (Luke 1:51). And, it is His Arm that’s beneath us, securing, protecting and guiding us away from all evil stones.

Joseph had a very unusual destiny. Despite all the challenges and battles of his life, “his bows abode in strength, and the arms of his hands were made strong by the hands of the mighty God of Jacob” (Genesis 49:22-26). He was very fruitful, with overflowing blessings.

The Lord’s counsel established him and, at last, Joseph’s dream was fulfilled when the young Hebrew “ex-convict” was enthroned as the Prime Minister of Egypt. Thereafter, he became the Shepherd and the Stone of Israel.

Perhaps you are passing through some unpleasant circumstances presently, or your hands are even now weakened by the adversaries. Don’t despair because our God still maintains His upper hand in man’s affairs.

In particular, the people Christ has redeemed with his blood have obtained joyful deliverance! Thus, no matter the devices of the enemy, God’s counsel will always prevail. With His mighty Hand, God will always overrule the intentions of the wicked, and you will still shine!

Yielding To God’s Upper Arm Of Destiny

Nevertheless, in order to maximally benefit from God’s outstretched Arm, you need to fully yield to His guidance, not engaging in the crafty wiles of the heathen. As you fully rely on Him, He will show up for you at every point, and empower your dreams for great accomplishments!

We can demonstrate our yieldedness by praying to God for His Mighty Arm to awakeand be outstretched once again in our generation with signs and wonders (Acts 4:30). Whenever we pray for the display of God’s power; He answers with His exceeding grace.

Moreover, happy is the man who fears and serves God in total obedience to His Word. His hand shall be incredibly strengthenedfor exploits in every area of life, the plans ofthe wicked shall be truncated and he shall certainly testify to supernatural accomplishments, soonest (Deuteronomy 26:5-9). You won’t miss this, in Jesus name.Amen. Happy Sunday!

 ____________________

Bishop Taiwo Akinola,

Rhema Christian Church,

Otta, Ogun State, Nigeria.

Connect with Bishop Akinola via these channels:

Facebook: www.facebook.com/bishopakinola

SMS/WhatsApp: +234 802 318 4987

They were expecting a visiting Head of State from another kingdom. The streets were lined with people. Schoolchildren were everywhere, holding and waving flags. The roads were completely cleared of all vehicles.

Then suddenly there appeared a raggedy-looking man, riding a bicycle. “Get off the road,” they jeered. “Clear off. Stupid idiot, what are you doing there?” Little did they know the man they were abusing was the visiting Head of State.

“Tell the daughter of Zion, ‘Behold, your King is coming to you, lowly, and sitting on a donkey, a colt, the foal of a donkey.’” (Matthew 21:5).

Shepherd-King

Jesus was not the person they were expecting. They were accustomed to the pomp and circumstance of other “kings.” They had seen Pastor Patrick Anwuzia of Zoe Ministries Worldwide in his cortege of cars with licence plates: Zoe 1, Zoe 2, Zoe 3.

They had seen Pastor Chris Oyakhilome, with his train of Land Cruisers zooming around the streets of Lagos. They had seen Pastor Paul Adefarasin, with his fearsome bodyguards and retinue of escort cars. But they did not know what to make of this “pretender” from Nazareth.

This King does not drive around in a Rolls-Royce. He does not have chariots and horses. On the contrary, He is a lowly King who comes on a donkey. He was born in a manger. He works as a carpenter. He is not a university graduate. He has not been to the theological seminary. But something is telling about this “insignificant” King. This King is a shepherd.

Matthew recalls Micah’s age-old prophecy: “But you, Bethlehem, in the land of Judah, are not the least among the rulers of Judah; for out of you shall come a Ruler who will shepherd My people Israel.” (Matthew 2:6). Jesus is the Ruler who will Shepherd. But He is a different type of Ruler and a different type of Shepherd.

David was a ruler of physical Israel: and Jesus is the Ruler of spiritual Israel. David was the ruler of a kingdom of this world: and Jesus is the Ruler of the kingdom of God. David was a shepherd of sheep: Jesus is the shepherd of the sons of God.

David himself caught the revelation of Jesus, the Messiah, when he wrote his most famous psalm. He said: “The LORD is my shepherd.” (Psalm 23:1). That translates today to mean; “The Lord is my Pastor.” But if you dare to tell your pastor today that the Lord Jesus is your Pastor, I can assure you he will not take kindly to it.

Pauper-King

Jesus entered the world in a family so poor Mary had to offer two turtledoves, rather than the required lamb, as the sacrifice for her purification. (Leviticus 12:8; Luke 2:24). He grew up in a small non-descript town of Nazareth far from the seat of political power. He lived in obscurity as a carpenter for thirty years.

Finally, he inaugurated His ministry on a riverbank and, for only three years thereafter, crisscrossed the dusty roads of Palestine, preaching the gospel of the kingdom of God. Jesus says: “Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay His head.” (Matthew 8:20).

Jesus raised no army and sought no earthly position of authority. He ultimately humbled Himself by accepting death at the hands of evil men who, like Herod, saw Him as a threat to their position and power. And yet, through it all, Jesus is the true king. Indeed, He is the King of kings. But the outward display of pomp and pageantry is not essential to His stature as King. Instead, He sets up a whole new set of values, proclaiming that it is in these we are to find true fulfilment.

In effect, Jesus compels a choice. We can either see dominion in terms of outside splendour and power, or we can focus on strength of character to distinguish the inner core of greatness. We need to see in Jesus’ humility and self-abnegation the key to true greatness and glory. The believer should seek the inner liberty that defines dominion over the shackles of sin. It is this inner freedom and power that was exhibited by Jesus.

Unstoppable King

Jesus was in full control of Himself. He demonstrated His kingship by showing He has authority over the worst of man’s enemies- Himself. Jesus exercised absolute freedom from within. Power without self-control is no power at all. A true king must have the power to humble himself; to submit to God and to give up his rights in obedience to God’s commandments.

Jesus exhibited such total liberty of the spirit that He went about doing good. People looked for all kinds of ways to stop Him. The devil kept sending people to try and impede Him. When he sent Peter to dissuade Him from the cross, Jesus said: “Get thee behind Me Satan.”  Some argued that it is not lawful to be good on the Sabbath. But Jesus insisted it is lawful to do good every day of the week.

In the end, they decided to kill Him. They thought at least when He is dead and buried; He would no longer be able to do anyone any good. But that was a big mistake. His crucifixion turned out to be His coronation. When they killed Him, He rose from the dead, never to die again. Thereby, He demonstrated that even death cannot impede the goodness of God.

King of Kings

On His resurrection, Jesus commissioned His disciples to preach the gospel of the kingdom of God all over the world. However, it was understood they would do this in the same pattern He established. They would not go in pomp or luxury. They were not to drive about in Jeeps and Pathfinders or live in the best hotels.

Instead, they would go with Jesus’ beatitudes boldly written on their hearts and live among their fellowmen humbly and as servants. Jesus says: “Whoever desires to be first among you, let him be your slave- just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many.” (Matthew 20:27-28).

How very different this is from the life that kings and mega-pastors of the world lead. Jesus says: “A disciple is not above his teacher, nor a servant above his master. It is enough for a disciple that he be like his teacher, and a servant like his master.” (Matthew 10:24-25).

Jesus’ example does not require the establishment of a pompous “Millionaire’s Club.” Neither does it recommend acquisition of jet planes. Nevertheless, some outrageous pastors now insist Jesus’ lowly donkey is today’s equivalent of a Lincoln-Continental salon car. 

Are Christians kings like Jesus? Or are we kings like Herod and our mega-pastors? Are we kings who exercise dominion over sin? Or are we kings who only rule over men? Are we kings in control of ourselves? Or are we fake kings ruled by our temperament? Are we puppet-kings under the servitude of cigarettes, alcohol, drugs and other demons?  

Jesus says: “Behold, I AM coming quickly! Hold fast what you have, that no one may take your crown.” (Revelation 3:11).

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Everybody poops, but not every day. New research from the Institute for Systems Biology (ISB) indicates that the frequency of bowel movements is connected to long-term health.

An ISB-led research team examined the clinical, lifestyle, and multi-omic data of more than 1,400 healthy adults. How often people poop, they found, can have a large influence on one’s physiology and health. Their findings were recently published in the journal Cell Reports Medicine.

Researchers explored data from consenting participants of the consumer wellness company Arivale. The team focused on generally healthy adults and excluded those with certain health conditions or medication use.

The research team categorized self-reported bowel movement frequency into four groups: constipation (one or two bowel movements per week), low-normal (between three and six bowel movements per week), high-normal (between one and three bowel movements per day), and diarrhea.

Once categorized, the team looked for associations between bowel movement frequency and factors including demographics, genetics, gut microbiome, blood metabolites, and plasma chemistries.

Findings on Demographics and Gut Microbiome

The study showed that age, sex, and body mass index (BMI) were significantly associated with bowel movement frequency. Specifically, younger people, women, and those with a lower BMI tended to have less frequent bowel movements.

“Prior research has shown how bowel movement frequency can have a big impact on gut ecosystem function,” said Johannes Johnson-Martinez, the lead author of the study. “Specifically, if stool sticks around too long in the gut, microbes use up all of the available dietary fiber, which they ferment into beneficial short-chain fatty acids. After that, the ecosystem switches to fermentation of proteins, which produces several toxins that can make their way into the bloodstream.”

Indeed, the researchers also showed that the microbial composition of study participants’ gut microbiomes was a telltale sign of bowel movement frequency. Fiber-fermenting gut bacteria, often associated with health, appeared to thrive in a “Goldilocks zone” of bowel movement frequency, where people pooped between 1-2 times per day. However, bacteria associated with protein fermentation or the upper gastrointestinal tract tended to be enriched in those with constipation or diarrhea, respectively.

Impact on Health and Disease Risk

Similarly, several blood metabolites and plasma chemistries showed significant associations with bowel movement frequency, suggesting potential links between bowel health and chronic disease risk. Specifically, microbially derived protein fermentation byproducts known to cause damage to the kidneys, like p-cresol-sulfate and indoxyl-sulfate, were enriched in the blood of individuals reporting constipation, while clinical chemistries associated with liver damage were elevated in individuals reporting diarrhea.

Blood levels of indoxyl-sulfate, in particular, were significantly associated with reduced kidney function, providing preliminary support for a causal link between bowel movement frequency, gut microbial metabolism, and organ damage in this healthy cohort.

Unsurprisingly, those who reported eating a fiber-rich diet, better hydration, and regular exercise tended to find themselves in the bowel movement Goldilocks zone.

“Chronic constipation has been associated with neurodegenerative disorders and with chronic kidney disease progression in patients with active disease,” said Dr. Sean Gibbons, ISB associate professor and corresponding author of the paper. “However, it has been unclear whether or not bowel movement abnormalities are early drivers of chronic disease and organ damage, or whether these retrospective associations in sick patients are merely a coincidence.

“Here, in a generally healthy population, we show that constipation, in particular, is associated with blood levels of microbially derived toxins known to cause organ damage, prior to any disease diagnosis,” Gibbons said.

The study also explored associations between bowel movement frequency and anxiety and depression, indicating that mental health history is connected to how often one poops.

“Overall, this study shows how bowel movement frequency can influence all body systems, and how aberrant bowel movement frequency may be an important risk factor in the development of chronic diseases,” Gibbons said. “These insights could inform strategies for managing bowel movement frequency, even in healthy populations, to optimize health and wellness.”

Reference: “Aberrant bowel movement frequencies coincide with increased microbe-derived blood metabolites associated with reduced organ function” by Johannes P. Johnson-Martínez, Christian Diener, Anne E. Levine, Tomasz Wilmanski, David L. Suskind, Alexandra Ralevski, Jennifer Hadlock, Andrew T. Magis, Leroy Hood, Noa Rappaport and Sean M. Gibbons, 16 July 2024, Cell Reports Medicine.

SciTechDaily

The Federation Account Allocation Committee (FAAC) announced that the federal, state, and local governments shared a total of N1.358 trillion in revenue for July 2024. This marks a slight increase of N4 billion compared to the N1.354 trillion distributed in June.

The FAAC's August meeting, chaired by Wale Edun, the Minister of Finance and Coordinating Minister of the Economy, revealed the allocation figures. According to Mohammed Manga, the Director of Information and Public Relations at the Ministry of Finance, the N1.358 trillion was drawn from the total revenue of N2.61 trillion generated in July.

The revenue breakdown includes statutory revenue of N161.5 billion, value-added tax (VAT) of N528 billion, an electronic money transfer levy (EMTL) of N18.8 billion, exchange difference of N581 billion, and N13.6 billion from solid minerals. These contributions made up the distributable revenue for the month.

From the distributable funds, the federal government received N431 billion, while the states and local government councils were allocated N473 billion and N343 billion, respectively. Additionally, oil-producing states received N109 billion as a derivation fund, representing 13% of mineral revenue.

The committee also allocated N99.7 billion for the cost of revenue collection and N109.816 billion for transfer intervention and refunds.

The gross revenue from VAT for July amounted to N625 billion, an increase of N62 billion from the previous month. Out of the distributable VAT revenue of N582 billion, the federal government received N87.3 billion, the states got N291 billion, and local governments were allocated N203 billion.

The FAAC statement noted that the gross statutory revenue of N1.373 trillion for July was lower by N45.5 billion compared to June's N1.432 trillion. Of this amount, N73.959 billion was allocated for collection costs, and N1.138 trillion was earmarked for transfers, interventions, and refunds.

Regarding the N161 billion gross statutory revenue balance, the federal government received N58.5 billion, the states received N29.6 billion, and local governments got N22.894 billion. Additionally, N50.4 billion was allocated as 13% derivation revenue to oil-producing states.

From the N19.6 billion generated by the EMTL, the federal government received N2.8 billion, the states got N9.4 billion, and local governments received N6.5 billion, with N0.784 billion set aside for collection costs.

FAAC reported significant increases in oil and gas royalties, petroleum profit tax (PPT), VAT, import duties, EMTL, and external tariff levies (CET). However, there was a decrease in company income tax (CIT), while excise duties saw only a marginal increase.

As of August 2024, the balance in the Excess Crude Account (ECA) was $473,754.57.

In a disturbing wave of abductions, gunmen have struck in two separate incidents, kidnapping the Anambra State Commissioner for Youth Development, Patrick Agha-Mba, along with his wife, and abducting 20 medical students from the University of Jos (UNIJOS) in Benue State.

The first incident occurred on Friday when Agha-Mba, his wife, and an aide were attacked while traveling through Edo State. The group was en route to Abuja to attend the wedding ceremony of Adaora, the daughter of Anambra State Governor, Charles Soludo. Tragically, one of Agha-Mba’s aides was killed during the assault. The spokesperson for the Anambra State Governor, Christian Aburime, confirmed the abduction and the death of the aide on Friday evening.

In a separate incident on Thursday evening, gunmen ambushed and kidnapped no fewer than 20 medical students from UNIJOS in Otukpo, Benue State. The students were on their way to Enugu for the annual Federation of Catholic Medical and Dental Students convention when they were taken. The Benue State Police spokesperson, Sewuese Anene, reported that the incident occurred around 5:30 p.m. and that an investigation is ongoing.

These incidents have sparked widespread concern over the increasing insecurity in the country. As of the time of reporting, no further information has been provided on their whereabouts or condition.

Gaza ceasefire talks paused with resumption planned next week

Gaza ceasefire talks in Doha paused on Friday with negotiators to meet again next week seeking an agreement to end fighting between Israel and Hamas and free remaining hostages, as U.S. President Joe Biden said "we're not there yet".

In a joint statement, the U.S., Qatar and Egypt said Washington had presented a new proposal that built on points of agreement over the past week, closing gaps in a way that could allow rapid implementation of a deal.

Mediators would keep working on the proposal, they said.

"The path is now set for that outcome, saving lives, bringing relief to the people of Gaza, and de-escalating regional tensions," they said in the statement.

On Thursday, Israel and mediators began the latest round in months of talks to end the war in Gaza, which has killed tens of thousands of Palestinians. Palestinian militant group Hamas was not directly involved but was kept briefed on the talks.

A senior Hamas official, Izzat al-Rishq, told Reuters Israel "did not abide by what was agreed upon" in earlier talks, citing what mediators had told them.

BIDEN SAYS DEAL 'MUCH, MUCH CLOSER'

In Washington, Biden said a deal was "much, much closer" than before the talks began.

A senior administration official said the latest negotiations were the most productive in months, and negotiators will reconvene next week in Cairo hoping to conclude it.

"It was consensus of all of the participants over the past 48 hours that there's really a new spirit here to drive it to a conclusion," the official told reporters on the condition of anonymity.

"The Israeli team that was here was empowered...We made a lot of progress in the number of issues that we've been working on," the official said.

Biden said in a statement he had directed his negotiating team to put forward the comprehensive bridging proposal presented on Friday, which he said offers the basis for a final agreement on a ceasefire and hostage release deal.

The U.S. president said he spoke with Qatar's Emir Sheikh Tamim bin Hamad al-Thani and Egyptian President Abdel Fattah al-Sisi, who he said expressed strong support for the U.S. proposal.

Teams will remain on the ground to continue technical work and senior officials will convene in Cairo "before the end of the week," he said.

Biden added he is sending U.S. Secretary of State Antony Blinken to Israel to reaffirm U.S. commitment to Israel and "to underscore that with the comprehensive ceasefire and hostage release deal now in sight, no one in the region should take actions to undermine this process."

On Friday night, Biden told reporters he was optimistic about the ceasefire deal prospects but warned that it was "far from over." Asked when a ceasefire would start if a deal is reached, Biden said: "That remains to be seen."

Israel has insisted that peace will only be possible if Hamas is destroyed, while Hamas has said it will only accept a permanent ceasefire, not a temporary one.

Other difficulties have included deal sequencing, the number and identity of Palestinian prisoners to be released alongside Israeli hostages, control over the Gaza-Egypt border and free movement for Palestinians inside Gaza.

An Israeli official said its delegation in Doha was heading home and Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu was expected to meet Blinken on Monday.

On Friday, Israeli forces pounded targets across tiny, crowded Gaza and issued new orders for people to leave areas it had previously designated as civilian safe zones, saying Hamas had used them to fire mortars and rockets at Israel.

As hundreds of families fled with salvaged belongings, the United Nations called for a week-long pause in fighting for a polio-vaccination campaign with disease spreading among the displaced.

The Palestinian health ministry said in a statement it has detected the first confirmed case of polio in the Gaza strip.

The latest hostilities in the decades-old Israeli-Palestinian conflict was triggered on Oct. 7when Hamas attacked Israel, killing 1,200 people and taking about 250 hostages, according to Israeli tallies.

Israel's subsequent military campaign has killed more than 40,000 Palestinians, mostly civilians, according to Palestinian health authorities. It has also displaced nearly the entire population of 2.3 million, caused a hunger crisis and led to genocide allegations at the World Court that Israel denies.

Israel has said it eliminated 17,000 fighters from Hamas while also adding that the group uses civilians as human shields.

REGIONAL FEARS

The Israeli delegation included spy chief David Barnea, head of the domestic security service Ronen Bar and the military's hostages chief Nitzan Alon, defence officials said.

The White House sent CIA Director Bill Burns and U.S. Middle East envoy Brett McGurk. Qatari Prime Minister Sheikh Mohammed bin Abdulrahman Al Thani and Egypt's intelligence chief Abbas Kamel were also taking part.

Washington hopes a ceasefire agreement in Gaza can defuse the risk of a wider war. Iran has threatened to retaliate against Israel after the assassination of Hamas leader Ismail Haniyeh in Tehran on July 31.

The U.S. has dispatched warships, submarines and warplanes to the region to defend Israel and deter potential attackers.

Asked on Friday if Iran would continue to hold off on retaliating against Israel now that the ceasefire talks had been extended, Iran’s mission to the U.N. in New York said “We hope so.”

The senior Biden administration official said Washington warned Tehran about conducting a major missile attack against Israel, "because the consequences could be quite cataclysmic, particularly for Iran."

Reuters

RUSSIAN PERSPECTIVE

Russian missiles wipe out US Patriots in Ukraine – MOD

Russian missiles have destroyed two batteries of US-made ‘Patriot’ air defense systems and a German IRIS-T in two regions of Ukraine, according to videos released by the defense ministry in Moscow on Friday.

The US and its allies have sent an unspecified number of air defense systems to Ukraine,  following Vladimir Zelensky’s pleas to help Kiev deal with Russian airstrikes.

The first Ministry of Defense (MOD) video showed reconnaissance drone footage of two Patriot launchers and a AN/MPQ-65 radar station, in a field near Lyubimovka in Dnepropetrovsk Region. The field is then struck by cluster munitions from an Iskander-M missile.

The radar station can be seen exploding. The MOD said that both launchers were “completely destroyed” as well.

The second video was reportedly shot near Zhelobok, also in Dnepropetrovsk Region. The Ukrainian position consists of three Patriot launchers and another AN/MPQ-65 radar. One of the launchers can be seen releasing two missiles before an Iskander strike peppers the field with cluster bombs. Two of the launchers and the radar were completely destroyed, the Russian MOD said.

The third video shows a German-made IRIS-T launcher and a TRLM-4D radar vehicle, operating near the town of Sennoe in Ukraine’s Sumy Region before another Iskander-M missile arrives on their position.

All three strikes were filmed by reconnaissance drones, who operated deep over Ukraine unmolested.

Developed by the US military contractor Raytheon, the ‘Patriot’ system has been advertised as one of the most effective air defenses in the West since the 1991 Gulf War, when it reportedly shot down Iraqi ballistic missiles. 

According to publicly released specifications, it can engage targets at a range of up to 160km and altitudes of up to 24km. A typical Patriot battery consists of several launchers, a radar vehicle and a “power plant” truck, and is serviced by up to 90 personnel.

WESTERN PERSPECTIVE

Kremlin accuses the West of helping Ukraine attack Russia

An influential aide to Russian President Vladimir Putin said on Friday that the West and the U.S.-led NATO alliance had helped to plan Ukraine's surprise attack on Russia's Kursk region, something Washington has denied.

The lightning incursion, the biggest into Russia by a foreign power since World War Two, began on Aug. 6 when thousands of Ukrainian troops crossed Russia's western border in a major embarrassment for Putin's military.

Ukraine said the incursion was needed to force Russia, which sent its forces into Ukraine in February 2022, to start "fair" peace talks.

But the United States and Western powers, eager to avoid direct military confrontation with Russia, said Ukraine had not given advance notice and that Washington was not involved, though weaponry provided by Britain and the U.S. is reported to have been used on Russian soil.

Influential veteran Kremlin hawk Nikolai Patrushev dismissed the Western assertions in an interview with the Izvestia newspaper.

"The operation in the Kursk region was also planned with the participation of NATO and Western special services," he was quoted as saying, without offering evidence.

"Without their participation and direct support, Kyiv would not have ventured into Russian territory."

The remarks implied that Ukraine's first acknowledged foray into sovereign Russian territory carried a high risk of escalation.

Putin chaired a meeting of Russia's Security Council, including Patrushev, and said the discussion would focus on "new technical solutions" being employed in what Russia calls its special military operation.

KREMLIN SAYS UKRAINE WILL PAY FOR US INVOLVEMENT

"Washington's efforts have created all the prerequisites for Ukraine to lose its sovereignty and lose part of its territories," Patrushev said.

Ukraine said on Thursday that it had installed a military commandant in the area it controlled, even as Russia intensified its offensives in Ukraine's east.

Russia's defence ministry for its part said it had repelled a series of Ukrainian attacks along the Kursk frontline.

Kursk regional governor Alexei Smirnov said Ukraine had destroyed a road bridge over the Seym river in the region's Glushkovsky district. State news agency TASS, citing Russian security officials, said that could hinder an ongoing evacuation of the frontier district's roughly 20,000 inhabitants.

While the Ukrainian attack has revealed weaknesses in Russian defences and changed the public narrative of the conflict, Russian officials said Ukraine's "terrorist invasion" would not change the course of the war.

Russia has been advancing for most of the year in the key eastern sector of the 1,000-km (620-mile) front and has vast numerical superiority. It controls 18% of Ukraine.

After more than 10 days of fighting, Ukraine holds at least 450 sq km (175 sq miles) of territory, or less than 0.003% of Russia. But for Putin, the incursion crosses another red line.

One Russian source told Reuters the incursion could embolden hardliners in Moscow who advocate a bigger war, but Putin's choice may not be easy.

He has sought to portray Europe's biggest war in seven decades both as a limited "special military operation" that need not upset daily Russian life and as a historic fight with a West that scorns Moscow's interests and seeks to dismember Russia.

The U.S., which has said it cannot allow Putin to win the Ukraine war, so far deems the surprise incursion a protective move that justifies the use of U.S. weaponry, officials in Washington said.

But they also expressed worries about complications as Ukrainian troops push further into enemy territory.

One U.S. official, speaking on condition of anonymity, said that if Ukraine started taking Russian villages and other non-military targets using U.S. weapons and vehicles, it could be seen as stretching the limits Washington has imposed, precisely to avoid any perception of a direct NATO-Russia conflict.

Russia's defence ministry has published footage that it said showed a Russian drone destroying a U.S.-made Stryker armoured combat vehicle in the Kursk region.

RT/Reuters

Whenever you visit a new place, there are likely to be aspects of daily life there that feel totally new. And personally, I love discovering international habits or customs I wish I could adopt back home. So Redditor u/danielgmal asked, "What did you experience in another country that you wish you could make a part of your regular life?" Here's what people said.

1. "The cafe culture that is so common in France. I loved just sitting at an outdoor cafe and people watching while drinking my espresso with zero sense of rush."

—u/Shot-Still8131

2. "In Portugal, I encountered lots of miradors around cities like Lisbon and Maderia. They're little shaded courtyard areas with toilets and snacks in all the best views of the city, and they're totally genius. You can spend a day seeing the city from these beautiful little lookouts. I wish that every city would do this!"

—u/danielgmal

3. "The tradition of passeggiata in Italy, which is basically a nice stroll through town before or after dinner where you can catch up with neighbors and friends."

—u/UniqueLaw4431

4. "I loved how in Japan, restaurants often provide photos alongside the names of the menu items, which is really helpful when you're deciding what to order!"

—u/WeaknessAway5843

5. "In Buenos Aires, there are little Verdulerías (fruit and vegetable shops) on pretty much every street corner. They're so convenient and I would love to have that here in the US."

—u/EpyonIII

6. "Round tables complete with lazy Susans. In China, almost every restaurant had this, which made eating with others much more involved. It made me realize how often I'm stuck at the corner of a rectangular table trying to be involved in the conversation and struggling to hear anything. The round table is what we all need."

—u/corpdorp

7. "In Japan, people have a ton of respect for schools and keeping them clean. I would love for my children's schools to hold students accountable for keeping their learning space tidy and well respected like that."

—u/ActivelyLostInTarget

8. "When I went to Italy, I ate outside everywhere. It was so lovely. Eating al fresco automatically made each meal feel more relaxed and special. My husband and I came home and immediately purchased a little dining set for our porch. I wish outdoor dining was more ubiquitous and available everywhere back home."

—u/greenappletwostep

9. "I loved how in Japan, every restaurant seemed to perfect and focus on one type of food, whether it was tempura, ramen, yakitori, sushi, or even pizza. It made for such a fun and unique dining experience. Here in the US, you often find very eclectic restaurants that try to do it all, but I loved the focused and almost studious approach to dining in Japan."

—Hannah Loewentheil

10. "I was a big fan of late dinners in Spain. It took a little while to adjust, but I ended up loving the idea of sitting down to dinner around 9 p.m. It makes each day feel longer, more leisurely, and unrushed. My husband and I have actually made a habit of eating later in the evening back in NYC."

—Hannah Loewentheil

11. "In so many places I've traveled in Europe, cafés give you a little biscuit or cookie with your coffee. I find it mind-boggling that every cafe in the world doesn't follow suit. It's such a delightful addition and can't cost much."

—u/rocketwikkit

12. "Italian happy hour. In Italy, we took advantage of it every afternoon around 5, just after we were done sightseeing. Each day involved a little wine, some cheese, and cold cuts. Then we would relax for a few hours and then go out for a proper dinner. I could definitely get used to this back home."

—u/FormicaDinette33

13. "On the flight home from London after our first visit there, my spouse asked me what impressed me the most. My honest answer was the Tube. Since then, almost every European city I've visited has impressed me with how easy it is to get around on public transportation. If only we had the same access to and ease of public transportation where we live."

—u/aeraen

14. "I loved the street food and hawker stalls prevalent in south east Asia. These countries have tons of access to cheap, clean, and relatively healthy dishes that are readily available. After a long day at work I’d love to be able to pop by a street market and grab pad Thai, chicken rice, or a big bowl of laksa for a few bucks rather than going home and cooking for myself."

—u/DR-JOHN-SNOW-

15. "I love the Scandinavian culture of wood burning saunas and cold dips. I could get used to that on the regular so quickly."

—u/tams420

16. "In Japan, many restaurants have a button to press on your table when you want the server to come. This is so your server doesn't bother you when you're not ready to order and also so you can get fast attention when you need something."

—u/WeaknessAway5843

17. "Taiwanese 7-Elevens. When I was in Taiwan, this convenience store improved quality of life tremendously. Aside from the enormous food selection (onigiri, ramen, drinks, snacks), you can also get freshly brewed coffee, pay your bills, and send postage in one place. I miss these 7-Elevens so much."

—u/GochujangChips

18. "I loved how many Italian cities boast large, car-free pedestrian zones. Sitting at a table outside a cafe without the noise and distraction of cars going by is wonderful. These traffic-free areas really add to the ambiance."

—u/sbrt
19. "Shabbat in Israel. I love this simple tradition of eating a long, peaceful dinner with family or friends on Friday evening. It's a time to let the week go and recharge. It's respected by employers so no one will ask or expect you to stay late on Fridays to work."

—jenniferj32

20. "In many bars in Southern Spain, you get tapas (light snacks) when you order a cocktail with no extra charge. It's just a little something to nibble on while you drink. I'm a big fan of this custom."

—Kieber89

Buzzfeed

A Japanese man’s personal life has recently become the talk of the internet after he revealed that he is perfectly ok with his wife of three years having a boyfriend and even bringing him into the family home.

Prince Soy, a young Japanese chef and blogger who promotes and sells additive-free okara granola online, has recently been drawing a lot of attention for very different reasons. On July 8th, he took to X (formerly Twitter) to announce that his wife Seira would be returning home after spending six months studying abroad and that she would be bringing her new boyfriend along. The controversial post quickly went viral, sparking a heated online debate about Prince Soy’s marriage and the three-way relationship. The controversy didn’t seem to bother the married man who actually documented the visit of his wife’s boyfriend through short clips and multiple social media posts.

“My wife and her boyfriend are going to live together. My wife is studying abroad and has a new boyfriend. She is coming back to Japan with him, and he is coming to stay with us,” Prince Soy told his followers on X, adding that he had no problem with the unusual arrangement.

The Japanese blogger explained that Seira had told him that she wanted to study in Australia last year, and he accepted even though he was surprised by her decision. She left in January 2024, and by May, she confessed that she had met another Japanese man who subsequently became her boyfriend. Because Prince Soy and his wife had previously decided to be in an open relationship, he had no objections to her new “acquisition”. He actually revealed friendly text messages he exchanged with his wife’s boyfriend and the Starbucks coupon he gifted him for his birthday.

“I’ve never met him before so I don’t know his preferences, and I thought if I gave him something too extravagant he might feel uncomfortable, so I gave him something very safe, like a Starbucks ticket,” Prince Soy said.

On July 12th, Soy posted a video of himself greeting Seira and her boyfriend at the airport, and over the past week, he continued documenting the unconventional living arrangement, with the boyfriend sharing their home. He and his wife slept in the bedroom, while her boyfriend slept on the couch. At one point, when his wife and her boyfriend got into an argument, he stepped in to mediate the situation.

“I thank him wholeheartedly as he supported my wife while she was having a hard time abroad,” Prince Soy said about Seira’s boyfriend. “He must be an interesting person, or my wife would not fall for him.”

Social media reactions to Prince Soy’s situation have been mixed, with some people applauding his willingness to defy social norms and respect the agreement made with his wife about their open relationship, while others said that they couldn’t understand how he was ok with the three-way relationship, especially considering that he never had a different partner since marrying Seira.

In response to questions like “Why do you forgive your wife for doing whatever she wants?“, Prince Soy said. “First of all, the word ‘forgive’ is wrong. My wife has not done anything wrong. I like to see my wife acting selfishly, doing whatever she wants, a wife who isn’t selfish is not attractive to me.”

The Japanese blogger added that he has always known that his wife’s hobby was “acquiring boyfriends,” but he never had a problem with it because he is happy as long as she is happy. He said that, in a way, he was sorry for Seira’s boyfriends, because they could never take his place in her heart.

Oddity Central