It's one thing to go from not having any money to having a lot of it. But I wanted to know more about what happens when it's the other way around. So, I asked formerly rich members of the BuzzFeed Community to share the things they learned after becoming poor.
Here's what they shared:
1. "I grew up very privileged because both of my parents inherited a ton of money when they were young. I went to a very expensive summer camp, everything I owned was designer, and we owned a second home in the Hamptons. Everything changed after my father walked out though. He blew through every cent and we had nothing left. He couldn't even pay child support. For the first time in her entire life, my mother had to get a job."
"The two of us ended up selling everything and moving to a studio apartment in a bad neighborhood. The transition was really tough, especially for my mother. She lost her friends and no longer had access to her favorite hobbies. She even became suicidal at one point. I want people to know that while this kind of transition is definitely a 'first world problem,' it's extremely painful and traumatic. Be nice to these people and help them when you can."
— Anonymous
2. "We moved to Los Angeles from London in the '80s. My dad was offered an ownership stake in a company with some family friends. We moved to a really nice house near Calabasas. I was 10 years old and living the life. My friends were all rich and we got to do so many amazing things and meet some really famous people. The whole company was a fake. Some guy who was wanted by Interpol fooled my dad and a bunch of our family friends. My parents lost everything."
"We moved to a tiny house, ate Grape Nuts for dinner, and had to scare the cockroaches by turning on the lights. I went to my old rich friend's birthday party and he and all my old friends asked me not to come over anymore because it made their parents feel sad. My parents worked multiple jobs, started their own company, and ended up giving us a wonderful middle-class life. My best memory though was when we had nothing and had that house full of roaches."
—Anonymous
3. "My family was odd. We had money and lost it, got money again briefly before losing it once more. We went from flying first class to having to decide between replacing pants with holes in the crotch and buying new food. I remember my mom literally crying because I was bullied for that in school, and a friend of hers actually stepped in to provide new clothes so my mother wouldn't have to ration our food."
—shas4edf27c42
4. "I grew up a quite comfortable and very spoiled kid. I think the biggest thing that has shifted is the discomfort I have when people who make so much more than I do respond to me declining to go to an event or grabbing a bite after work by saying 'don't worry, I'll get you' without a thought. I totally used to be that person, so I know most of the time it isn't from a place of malice or intentionally making you feel bad."
"When I used to do it, it was because I wanted to spend time with the other person, but now I understand and feel like immediately offering to pay for someone versus thinking of an alternative is such a weighted response. It's almost like my personhood, interests, and boundaries have less value because the other person plus [their] money outweigh me."
—Anonymous
5. "Money. Really. Can. Buy. Happiness. Granted, there are a lot of other aspects of your life that need to be lined up to achieve true happiness. But the difference in stress levels between being well off and being on the low-income end is HUGE. When I was married to a wealthy business owner, I don’t know that I ever even knew what real stress felt like. Now the pressure of bills, groceries, insurance…the burden on your brain is so heavy, and never, ever goes away. As happy as I am with my new life, it’s impossible to truly enjoy anything without that constant financial worry getting in the way."
—Anonymous
6. "Having to learn when to do things, more so than what or how to do things, has been the biggest learning curve. Like, I knew generally how to do laundry and how to budget and stuff, but figuring out how often to change my sheets and wash my towels, when seasonal sales come on to get a better deal on big purchases, when produce is in season (and thus cheaper), and even when to restock on something has been a whole ~thing~."
"It’s so much information to keep track of! I feel like I constantly have a million things I need to remember to do vs. being able to just buy whatever, whenever, or have someone like a housekeeper keep track of it."
—Anonymous
7. "Before, something I really took for granted was driving. Becoming poor shrinks your world — literally. The gas you use running errands adds up really fast when money is tight. We were lucky enough to own a car still, which was important since we lived in an area with little to no public transportation options. But unnecessary errands and trips were out of the question."
"We couldn’t go to certain stores anymore, our employment options were limited by how far away they were (couldn’t afford a commute), and we visited distant relatives way less frequently. My mom even made us stop going to our family dentist because he was one town over, and this was a doctor we’d been seeing our whole lives. Even just driving to the other side of town to pick up a friend became a big deal financially. It was really humiliating since I was the only one in the friend group who ever asked anyone for gas money."
—Anonymous
8. "Being able to afford a reliable car and gas are luxuries. Going from driving new cars and using gas charge cards without looking at the bills to driving a 15-year-old vehicle and paying for gas with any spare cash you could find was shocking."
—Anonymous
9. "Keeping your home and car clean is hard to do when you can't afford cleaning supplies since any spare money after bills goes to food like bread, bologna, peanut butter, ramen noodles, eggs, and water drink powders. And Bounty is as strong as they say. You can even use it to scrub dishes with or as a washcloth in the shower!"
—Anonymous
10. "I used to have medical, dental, vision, and life insurance. Now I don't because I can barely afford food. When I broke my glasses, I luckily had an old pair I wear now. I used to get my teeth cleaned every six months but now it's going on three years. I'm lucky my teeth are in good shape. I gave up on annual blood work and prescriptions for my heart and thyroid. I went from 215 lbs to 154 lbs because I only eat once a day and I'm hoping the weight loss helps with my conditions."
—Anonymous
11. "I’m now willing to forgo necessary medical tests because I can’t afford them, nor the treatment that would follow."
—Anonymous
12. "Things like ketchup packets, sauce cups, Sweet-N-Low, creamers, etc. at restaurants and gas stations become so much more valuable. I never thought I would be so excited to get something for free that was that small."
—Anonymous
13. "Quality of food. You [ask yourself], 'Can I afford breakfast?' or 'How much can I spend on food in one day?' 'Can I make it on $10?'"
—Anonymous
14. "I had to stop and actually consider the price of things. I realized we weren’t as financially strong when my dentist said I needed a new retainer and I said, 'Sure, let’s go for it.' Then my dad scolded me for not checking with him first."
—Anonymous
15. "Paying the 'poor tax' was my first lesson. My car insurance was $117/month [but only] $520/year if you could prepay. I had no idea how much more expensive it was to be poor."
—Anonymous
16. "I am no longer able to pay all my bills at [the same time]. I have to maneuver due dates vs. paychecks."
—Anonymous
17. And finally, "It costs more to be poor. Overdraft fees, bank fees, predatory lending, higher interest rates. Banks live on the backs of people who can’t afford groceries."
—Anonymous
Note: Responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.
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