As the war of attrition with Okon raged on in the snooper household, snooper was also thinking of a final solution to contain the mad Calabar boy’s menace. Last Friday, Okon recorded a significant success in the civil war when the dining room section of the house fell to his rag tag secessionist army, apologies to the late Ojo Maduekwe a.k.a Ojo Onikeke.

Since Okon has refused to cook for some time now giving as an excuse the fact that he was on some important national assignment, snooper had wanted to settle down to some fast food brought in from the local eatery when we noticed a massive python comfortably ensconced in our favourite chair. In fright, snooper fled towards the bedroom with the mangy dog barking furiously in hot pursuit even as Okon began laughing like a deranged jackal.

“Haba, Lamidi, you no go greet Oga, abi which kind yeye man you be?” Okon snorted amidst convulsive laughter obviously addressing the python. Inside the bedroom, snooper knew that the end had finally arrived. The next thing the mad boy would target would be the bedroom itself and by then it would all be over. There would be no hiding place. The handshake had definitely gone beyond the elbow. In frightful premonition of an impending disaster, snooper called out to the mad boy behind closed door.

“Okon!!!” snooper yelled  at the mad boy.

“Oga, Okon dey Kampe. But make you open dem door now as short man devil, Hundeyin, wan say hello”, Okon snorted. A chilling tremor coursed through the spine as we remembered the nasty pigmy camel.

“Take the creep away, take away, now!!!”, snooper screamed.

“Oga camel meat no good for take away, na abami meat be dat one”, Okon sneered.

“Okon, I want to know who owns this house”, snooper moaned in acute frustration.

 “Oga, make you comot now, abi man dey fear for im own house?” Okon retorted as he retreated with his animal troops.

That evening, snooper brought forward PLAN B and contacted Orowusi Jabiti-jabiti and members of the dreaded orò cult. PLAN A had been to send the mad boy on an errand to the most dangerous part of Majidun where hopefully some human spare parts dealer could pounce on him. But not to worry, the orò cult would equally do.

In the dead of the night, they laid a siege to the house, droning endlessly and fearsomely like a thousand demons. Snooper could hear Okon screaming and yelling like a demented sheep as a vicious bee released from a black pouch fastened itself on his flared nostrils. By the time it was over, the entire house had been liberated and Okon and his animals had vanished hopefully forever. Thus ended a reign of terror that lasted six weeks.

The Nation