Every purpose is established by counsel: and with good advice make war ~ Proverbs 20:18.
Introduction
Starting right, going great and finishing excellently is God’s plan for every marital union. Nevertheless, the holy union can be fulfilling only when and where God's purposes are fully tracked, clearly understood and lovingly embraced.
Every marital union established on earth is assigned to a clear agenda from heaven, and in order to excel in it, couples must choose never to settle for ordinary relationships, but rather strive to glorify God through a kingdom-focused togetherness, till the end of time.
In normal godly Christian homes, the man is incomplete without his wife, neither is the woman. Jesus Christ said they both become “one flesh” (Matthew 19:5-6). Thus, there should be a willing, working and winning together in marital relationships to fulfill destiny!
This may entail some tough, critical and intelligent choices — physical, emotional and spiritual — but that’s the irreducible minimum if you desire to excel in your marital journey.
Understanding The Divine Destiny for Marital Unions
Basically, destiny refers to God's appointed and ordained purpose for your life. It is what God has predetermined you to be, and to become in His divine agenda (Ephesians 1:11).
Nothing exists without a divine purpose (Colossians 1:16). And, God always wishes to see us being fulfilled in His Will because He created everything for His pleasure (Revelation 4:11). Hence, there’s a fixed and predetermined purpose of God for every Christian home.
Before the partners met, or had loved each other as a couple, God had sketched out their lives with certain plans He expects them to accomplish together on earth (Jeremiah 29:11). He predestined each home for His peculiar ends.
Without equivocation, the grand purpose of God for everything — organization, institution, animate or inanimate, including your family unit — is to serve and glorify Him (Isaiah 60:6; 1 Peter 2:9).
Additionally, marriage is also intended for partnership, preservation, pleasure, provision and procreation of godly seeds for the enhancement of the human society (Malachi 2:14-15).
God sculpted us into being and fashioned our destinies before we were ever born (Jeremiah 1:4-5; Psalms 139:16). It would be outrageous, utterly foolish and very dangerous, therefore, for any mortal to attempt to contradict what God — the Infinite Wisdom — has already ordained.
However, one gets sad to read of many people in Scriptures who ended up aborting God’s plan for their lives, just because of marital issues. An example of this is showcased in a brief panorama of Samson’s life and his dented destiny.
Samson was a man of clearly defined destiny, a Nazarite, born for a purpose of beginning Israel's deliverance from bondage to the Philistines (Judges 13:1-25)! For twenty years, Samson walked in the authority of his destiny by the sheer strength of the Holy Spirit.
He drove the fear of God into the camp of the Philistines. He also judged Israel and brought hope to the entire nation. But, Samson aborted his destiny by chasing after a harlot, Delilah. Knowingly flirting with danger, he lost it all!
Samson could have lived out his days in dignity, and as a vessel of incredible honour and victories by the operation of the Holy Spirit, but he rather became sensuous and degenerated very fast.
He lost the conqueror’s anointing that had brought him immense honour and respect amongst his people. He ended as one of the most pitiful weaklings and a major tragic figure in biblical history: a conquered conqueror!
He lost all his dreaded strength, and his eyes were gouged out! Though, reminiscent of his glorious destiny, Samson brought down the Philistine temple in his dying day. Yet, he died a most miserable, cataclysmic death, having missed his destiny altogether!
Unfortunately, for similar marital misadventures, Solomon, Lot’s Wife, Vashti and Michal also experienced upturned destinies. Particularly, Solomon died without a successor for his great successes. His incredible wisdom profited many other people greatly, but worthless to himself in that respect.
What could be responsible for these sad incidents? I suspect ignorance played a big role. Outright lack of right information or faulty information could be devastating and very frustrating to anyone, including starry destinies.
Please note that irrespective of your success outside your home, you’re still missing your marital destiny if you are not glorifying God in your household, becoming more and more like Jesus, loving God and being practically involved in demonstrating His love to the world.
Particularly, the Christian homes that desire to enjoy divine distinction must resolve, like Joshua’s household, to serve the Lord together (Joshua 24:15). In fact, it seems like a good wife/husband occasionally evolves as a reward for courageous commitments to the cause of kingdom advancement (Judges 1:12-13).
There must be a definitive enthusiasm for mutual support for the callings of God upon our homes. The entire household must unite to do things that please God, loving Him heartily, and modeling His love to the world through our spiritual activities such as soul-winning, giving, intercessory prayers, etcetera.
Planning To Fulfill Destiny In Marriage
In order to fulfill your marital destiny, you must make a family plan and live according to it (Proverbs 20:18). Marriage plans will provoke marital focus. Even if it doesn’t look perfect, yet it's on the way to fulfilling destiny.
Start with where you are today. Honestly jot down some words to describe your relationship presently — silent, unhappy, disconnected, together on paper, lacking sexual intimacy, confused, frustrated, drifting, or, growing, hopeful, wonderful, fun-filled, energized? Dream up a marital mission with your mate to bring about improvements.
Poor decisions will always lead to wrong choices, and wrong choices will lead to failed homes. Make room for changes in attitude where necessary. Your home is destined to become the home you determine it should be.
Your destiny is greater than your present challenges, so make serious commitments together to stop the matrimonial wandering today. Keep your marital mission on your minds. Determine to pick up your destiny in God, and deliberately resolve to glorify Him in it.
Above all, allow God’s grand plan to steer your marriage and order your everyday steps (Jeremiah 10:23-24). Your lives don’t belong to you anymore, but to the One who predestined you to His Will. With His involvement in your lives, your marriage can still become truly extraordinary.
It’s Now In Your Hand!
In conclusion, please know that your colourful marital destiny is in your hands, right now (Micah 6:8). The level of success that you attain in your marriage, including the degree of happiness you access in it, is in your hands.
See, destiny is an interplay between grace and conscious self-effort. In fact, what we call “fate” is just another word for people's past choices coming to a head (Deuteronomy 30:19-20). It’s the practical wisdom you access from God and your right actions that deliver your joyful consequences (James 1:5)!
Often people delay in doing what they ought to do, waiting until it becomes too late. But, you must swing into action today, seizing this golden moment to make your marriage a wonder!
Accept responsibility for your destiny. If you don’t change direction, you might end up where you are heading. Either through your wrong choices or willful ignorance, your marital successes or failures have been brought on by none other than yourself.
Friends and brethren, it is choice and not a blind chance that determines destiny. Choose to make your home count for God in glorious togetherness (Luke 10:41-42). Determine to live each day together to please God while time remains. You won’t miss it, in Jesus Name. Amen. Happy Sunday!
** Bishop Taiwo Akinola,
Rhema Christian Church,
Otta, Ogun State, Nigeria.
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