Aditi Shrikant

Jim Guinn has gotten out of 38 speeding tickets. What’s his trick? He can get along with anyone.

At least that’s the central claim of his upcoming book, “How to Get Along with Anyone: The Playbook for Predicting and Preventing Conflict at Work and at Home,” which he co-authored with John Eliot.

Guinn is the president of the Resolution Resource Group, a company that coaches other companies on how to solve conflict, and Eliot mentors professional sports teams and athletes on how to improve performance.

A common mistake people make when trying to solve a problem with a co-worker or family member is “they try to fix what they believe to be the root issue without assessing what that person’s conflict personality style is,” Guinn told CNBC Make It.

“We try to jump in and we try to fix it to get if off our plate, but we are resolving superficial issues that aren’t really the true trigger [of the conflict],” he says.

There are five conflict personality styles the two outline in their book: avoider, competitor, analyzer, collaborator, accommodator.

Here’s how to best negotiate with each one, according to Guinn and Eliot.

Avoider

This person is uninterested in minor details and does best working alone. “They view most conflict as an extraneous distraction to their goals, smarter passed than getting caught up in,” Guinn and Eliot write in their book.

To negotiate with an avoider you should:

• Be time efficient. They hate pointless meetings and small talk
• Be persistent. They will probably ignore you at first
• Focus on the issue at hand and don’t bring in other details

Competitor

A competitor is always pushing the envelope and prone to taking risks. They often have the reputation of being aggressive, but their urgency comes from a place of wanting to solve problems completely and quickly.

To negotiate with a competitor you should:

• Adhere to deadlines
• Give them an early win during the interaction
• Follow through on what you say you’ll do

Analyzer

This person is evidence-based and methodical. They will patiently gather information before acting. They are usually OK with compromise and expect you to be the same.

“Once they feel that they’ve exhaustively considered all viewpoints and have arrived at a decision, they can get attached to it,” Guinn and Eliot write.

To negotiate with an analyzer you should:

• Show them you are willing to be flexible
• Not flake on meetings
• Not rush their thinking process, but try to be part of it

Collaborator

A collaborator prides themselves on being a relationship manager. They are observant, emotionally astute, and empathetic. But they often aren’t direct about what they want.

“Their desire to dig into others’ thoughts, feelings, and perspectives can be off-putting or prompt others to put up defenses,” Guinn and Eliot write. “Collaborators will work hard to make things personal to get you to let your guard down.”

To negotiate with a collaborator you should:

• Validate their need to be part of the group
• Steer the conversation back to them, as they often try to redirect discussions to other people’s desires.
• Don’t be “all business.” They gravitate toward solving “people” problems

Accommodator

An accommodator prioritizes the achievements and well-being of those they care about over their own. They are great at empowering their teammates but are triggered when they feel underappreciated.

“Accommodators are talented at sustaining their rationality when disgruntled, frustrated, tired, and so forth,” Guinn and Eliot write.

To negotiate with an accommodator you should:

• Demonstrate that you’re reliable
• Stick to the plan they are anticipating
• Don’t take them for granted

Figuring out which conflict style your boss, colleague or partner has can help you predict their behavior.

Guinn says his quick read of a cop has saved him hundreds of dollars.

“If the cop gets out [of their car] very quickly and walks up to your window, we know we’re dealing with a competitor or a collaborator,” he says.

If the former, be direct. Apologize, but don’t make small talk. If you sense the cop is a collaborator, take the opposite approach. Ask how their day has been and chit chat.

“If they sit in their car for a long time and they’re checking your registration, license and making you wait, they are probably either an avoider or they are an analyzer,” he says. “Most likely you won’t have a traffic cop who is an accommodator.”

An avoider you treat the same as a competitor — just get to the point. And you’ll want to give as much information as possible to an analyzer.

Guinn stresses these strategies aren’t foolproof and work best with people you see more often.

Getting out of a speeding ticket, though, is a “fun little bonus,” he says.

CNBC