Emotional maturity isn't always easy — especially if you had immature behaviors modeled to you as a child.

In an argument with a friend or romantic partner, it can be easy to revert to immature behavior like name-calling, yelling, and defensiveness.

But maybe you've put in the work — you've gone to therapy, you've meditated, and you feel like you've finally developed better behavior. Are you an emotionally mature person now?

Lindsay C. Gibson, a clinical psychologist, told Insider there's no such thing as a perfect, emotionally mature person who's "reached the apex of emotional maturity and stays there."

At the same time, there are a few signs that you might be becoming more emotionally mature. Here are some of them.

1. You actively listen and take in different viewpoints

Gibson said that one of the ways to know if you've become a more emotionally mature person is if you show genuine interest in listening to other people.

"I don't mean big, heavy, intense listening," she said, as paying too much attention to someone can become performative or fall into love bombing. "I mean they would just give you room and time to express your thoughts."

Emotionally immature people can make others feel like they have to race to get a word in or tiptoe around certain topics. But as an emotionally mature person, "there's a sense that you can be you and they can be them, and you can have a conversation where both people get to participate and both people listen to the other person."

2. You balance self-care with caring for others

While it can seem like being selfless and having endless empathy are signs of emotional maturity, Gibson said that healthy boundaries are really important.

"You can be self-preserving and you can also be interested in other people, have empathy for them," she said.

For example, you know that you can't adequately show up for people if you're not also taking care of yourself.

3. You think of how your words affect people, even when you're upset

Gibson said that emotionally mature people "are also very aware of how their words are going to land with the other person."

Even if you're angry or upset, you might think twice before sending a long, accusatory text or saying the first things that come to mind when you're heated. You know how to regulate your emotions.

4. You view arguments as collaborations, not fights

Because emotionally mature people think before they speak, arguments tend to go over more smoothly.

"They're not looking to ferret out the enemy," Gibson said. "Instead, they're looking to have a discussion and share information."

A good rule of thumb to assess your emotional maturity is noticing how you feel in a fight, she said.

Emotionally immature people tend to feel rigid and locked in, getting more defensive and charged as people disagree. But if you're actively trying to lower the temperature and have a productive discussion, that's a sign of emotional maturity.

5. You notice when you're being emotionally immature

If you grew up with an emotionally immature parent or in an enmeshed family, you might unconsciously repeat some of those unhealthy behaviors, or struggle with emotional dysregulation.

A big part of becoming more emotionally mature is recognizing when you're acting immaturely, Gibson said.

"When you engage in emotionally immature reactivity, you do not feel good inside," she said. "It feels like you are stressed and tense and rigid, and the other person has got to change or you're not going to be okay."

To grow into emotional maturity, it's important to be honest with yourself when you're being reactive or trying to control others.

6. You take notes from emotionally mature people

Gibson said that another sign of emotional maturity is observing how others handle conflict.

"You'll notice other people who seem to handle these difficult situations in such a smooth or effective way," she said. "They sort of end up getting their way without alienating anyone."

Whether it's another family member, friend, coworker, or romantic partner, you take mental notes when you see someone expertly navigate tough situations, and then implement those tools in your own life.

7. You don't feel perfect, but you feel more solid

Everyone wavers in their emotional maturity from time to time. "If we get sick or tired or stressed, our level of emotional maturity tends to go down," Gibson said.

But a consistent sign of being emotionally mature is having a stronger sense of self. You have moral clarity and don't need people to validate you to feel secure.

"They're not losing themselves if somebody disagrees with them," Gibson said. "They just don't get threatened in the same way that the emotionally immature do."

Insider

The naira slid to the brink of 1,000 per dollar in a fresh low in the official market thanks to a combination of central bank tolerance for a weakening currency and insatiable demand for the greenback.

The currency was pushed to its latest record a week after the central bank ended curbs on using dollars to buy dozens of imported items, while this time of year typically sees Nigerians making payments for tuition at foreign schools and universities, also adding to demand.

Traders exchanged the naira for the dollar in a range of 701 to 999 in transactions booked Thursday in the official market, Lagos-based investment bank Chapel Hill Denham said in a note on Friday.

The move was echoed in the parallel market, where the naira sank to 1,170 for a dollar on Friday from Thursday’s record 1,145, according to Abubakar Mohammed, chief executive officer of Forward Marketing Bureau de Change Ltd., who compiles the data. Nigerians unable to purchase hard currency at the official rate due to shortages are forced to buy it from street dealers at a premium.

The central bank eased foreign exchange controls in mid-June — prompting the official rate to plunge more than 40% over the past four months — as part of economic reforms overseen by President Bola Tinubu. Authorities this month scrapped restrictions on buying foreign currency required to import 43 items including rice, vegetables and chicken, a move that’s worsened the dollar shortage, according to CSL Stockbrokers.

“A combination of the demand arising from the lifting of the foreign exchange ban on the 43 items and increased demand for FX for school fees at the start of the new school year have increased pressure at both the official and the parallel markets,” Gloria Fadipe, head of research at CSL in Lagos, said in a note on Friday.

Despite Tinubu’s reforms, foreign investors remain largely absent from Nigerian markets, discouraged by the shortage of dollars which makes it difficult for them to repatriate earnings.

“Many foreign investors have their eyes fixed on the exchange rate and are unlikely to return to the market if there are no feasible plans to increase FX supply,” Fadipe said.

Federal Government has admitted that it is facing enormous challenges and revenue deficit amid a growing population.

This is as it lamented that it was struggling to pay salaries because “there is no money”.

Speaking in Abuja, Minister of Budget and National Planning, Atiku Bagudu, urged non-governmental organisations to help the government to cover the spaces it could not.

Bagudu, represented by the ministry’s Director of International Cooperation, Sampson Ebimaro, lamented that Nigeria’s population is fast increasing, adding that unemployment is surging amid high inflation rate.

“Government faces enormous challenges especially now; the government is facing a revenue deficit. There is no money anywhere in the country; the government is just managing to pay salaries.

“The growth rate is very slow and the population growth is fast pacing and increasing. Unemployment is surging in the midst of high inflation,” the minister said.

Sarah Alade, a former acting governor of the Central Bank of Nigeria, has said participation of Non-State Actors (NSAs) was key to the federal government’s target to lift millions of Nigeria out of poverty.

Alade, who was also Special Adviser to ex-President Muhammadu Buhari on Finance and Economy, urged the government to collaborate with NSAs to achieve economic development.

Daily Trust

President Bola Tinubu has approved the release of four months of the withheld salaries of members of the Academic Staff Union of Universities (ASUU).

Nigeria’s public universities have seen repeated disruptions in academic calendars over the years, with striking lecturers protesting funding deficits, poor conditions of service, and decay in infrastructure. 

ASUU embarked on its 16th strike in 23 years in 2022. The strike lasted for eight months.

In September 2022, the National Industrial Court (NIC) stopped the union from continuing with the strike, pending the determination of a suit.

The federal government insisted that the lecturers would not be paid for the period they were on strike in accordance with the “no work, no pay” order.

On May 30, the industrial court upheld the government’s stance on the matter.

However, Tinubu, on Friday, exercised the presidential prerogative of mercy to intervene in the matter.

He partially waived the “no work, no pay” order, amounting to the release of four months of the eight-month pay of the lecturers withheld by the government.

Ajuri Ngelale, the presidential spokesperson, said in a statement conveying Tinubu’s decision, that the waiver is part of an ongoing effort to mitigate the difficulties being felt during the implementation of key economic reforms in the country.

He said the education and labour ministries have been mandated to first secure a document of understanding (DoU) establishing that the waiver will be the last one to be granted to ASUU and other education sector unions.

The Cable

Economic and Financial Crimes Commission has said the agency does not issue arrest warrants for loan defaulters as allegedly claimed by some of these loan companies.

In a statement released on the official X account of the Commission on Friday, the EFCC stated that they do not issue arrest warrants as purported by these companies.

According to the EFCC, some of these companies send out documents with lists of those on the Commission’s alleged arrest list to scare defaulters into paying their loans.

Debunking this claim, the Commission warned such companies to desist from such ‘fraudulent engagements as the EFCC may stop at nothing to bring them to book.’

The statement titled, ‘EFCC Does not Issue Arrest Warrant on Loan Defaulters’, read, “The attention of the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission, EFCC, has been drawn to some contrived documents on ‘Arrest Warrant Processing,’ ‘Loan Fraud Escalation,’ and others being circulated by some loan companies, purportedly issued by the Commission against loan defaulters.

“Authors of such documents falsely link their threats against loan defaulters to the Commission.

“The public is enjoined to be wary of such claims. As a rule, the EFCC does not issue arrest warrants on loan defaulters.

“Loan companies linking the Commission to their loan recovery efforts should desist from such fraudulent engagements as the EFCC may stop at nothing to bring them to book.”

Punch

At least eight people were killed when armed robbers invaded four banks in Otukpo town of Benue State, on Friday.

Our correspondent gathered that three police officers, one vigilante and a councilor of Otukpo Ward 2 who was transacting business in one of the affected banks were among those killed.

A witness who declined to mention his name, said the armed gang first attacked the Police Station opposite the banks and allegedly disarmed all the operatives on duty before moving into the banks.

The witness also said that the four affected banks are Stanbic bank, United Bank for Africa (UBA), Zenith Bank and First Bank.

Residents claimed that the robbers drove in two Hilux vehicles and one smaller car to carry out the robbery which lasted over one hour.

The residents explained that the armed robbers stormed the banks at exactly 3:30pm on Friday and carried on the attack unchallenged till about 4:50pm.

A resident who preferred anonymity had earlier told our correspondent, “They are robbing First bank and Zenith banks simultaneously. They stormed the banks at 3:30pm.

“Two vigilante have lost their lives as we speak. Gunshots renting every where and if you listen carefully, you will hear the sound. The place is opposite police station. This is the first time we are experiencing this.”

Another resident, Okopi Elijah, said the incident left him trapped in his office several hours after closing from work.

Elijah said the armed robbers went on rampage, destroyed and carted away valuables in the banks unhindered.

He said, “No one can move either direction of Otukpo main road now because you don’t know which way the robbers will use to exit since they are shooting indiscriminately.

“I have closed from work since 4:00pm and it’s already 5:10pm, however I can’t step out of office yet. Many of us are taking refuge here.”

Police Public Relations Officer (PPRO) SP Catherine Anene, confirmed the incident but that she was yet to get details at the time of sending this report.

“I have not been able to speak with the DPO or any of the officers there but I know there is an incident. I don’t want to be disturbing them so let’s give it some time,” Anene said.

Daily Trust

Israel says two Americans held hostage by Hamas, a mother and daughter, have been released

Hamas on Friday freed an American woman and her teenage daughter who had been held hostage in Gaza, Israel said, the first such release from among the roughly 200 people the militant group abducted from Israel during its Oct. 7 rampage.

Judith Raanan and her 17-year-old daughter, Natalie, were out of the Gaza Strip and in the hands of the Israeli military, an army spokesman said. Hamas said it released them for humanitarian reasons in an agreement with the Qatari government.

The release comes amid growing expectations of a ground offensive that Israel says is aimed at rooting out Hamas militants who rule Gaza. Israel said Friday it does not plan to take long-term control over the tiny territory, home to some 2.3 million people.

As the Israeli military punished Gaza with airstrikes, authorities inched closer to bringing aid from Egypt to desperate families and hospitals. Fighting between Israel and militants in neighboring Lebanon also raged, prompting evacuations of Lebanese and Israeli border towns as fears of a widening conflict grew.

Judith and Natalie Ranaan had been on a trip from their home in suburban Chicago to Israel to celebrate Jewish holidays, the family said. They were in the kibbutz of Nahal Oz, near Gaza, on Oct. 7 when Hamas and other militants stormed into southern Israeli towns, killing hundreds and abducting 203 others.

The family had heard nothing from them since the attack and were later told by U.S. and Israeli officials that they were being held in Gaza, Natalie’s brother Ben said.

U.S. President Joe Biden spoke with the two freed hostages and their relatives. The International Committee of the Red Cross, which transported the freed Americans from Gaza to Israel, said their release was “a sliver of hope.”

Relatives of other captives welcomed the release and appealed for more people to be freed.

Hamas said in a statement that it was working with mediators “to close the case” of hostages if security circumstances permit. The group added that it is committed to mediation efforts by Egypt, Qatar and other countries.

Qatar said it would continue its dialogue with Israel and Hamas in hopes of winning the release of all hostages “with the ultimate aim of de-escalating the current crisis and restoring peace.”

Israeli military spokesman Daniel Hagari said Israel continued to work to return hostages and find the missing, and its goals had not changed. “We are continuing the war against Hamas and ready for the next stage of the war,” he said.

A potential Israeli ground assault is likely to lead to a dramatic escalation in casualties on both sides in urban fighting. More than 1,400 people in Israel have been killed in the war — mostly civilians slain during the Hamas incursion.

More than 4,100 people have been killed in Gaza, according to the Health Ministry run by Hamas. That includes a disputed number of people who died in a hospital explosion earlier this week.

Speaking to lawmakers about Israel’s long-term plans for Gaza, Defense Minister Yoav Gallant laid out a three-stage plan that seemed to suggest Israel did not intend to reoccupy the territory it left in 2005.

First, Israeli airstrikes and “maneuvering” — a presumed reference to a ground attack — would aim to root out Hamas. Next will come a lower intensity fight to defeat remaining pockets of resistance. And, finally, a new “security regime” will be created in Gaza along with “the removal of Israel’s responsibility for life in the Gaza Strip,” Gallant said.

Gallant did not say who Israel expected to run Gaza if Hamas is toppled or what the new security regime would entail.

Israel occupied Gaza from 1967 until 2005, when it pulled up settlements and withdrew soldiers. Two years later, Hamas took over. Some Israelis blame the withdrawal from Gaza for the sporadic violence that has persisted since then.

The humanitarian crisis has worsened for Gaza’s civilians every day since Israel halted entry of supplies two weeks ago, depleting fuel, food, water and medicine. Two days after Israel announced a deal to allow Egypt to send in aid, the border remained closed Friday as Egypt repaired the Rafah crossing, damaged by Israeli strikes.

Over a million people have been displaced in Gaza. Many heeded Israel’s orders to evacuate the northern part of the sealed-off enclave on the coast of the Mediterranean Sea. But Israel has continued to bomb areas in southern Gaza where Palestinians had been told to seek safety. Although Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu called areas in the south “safe zones” earlier this week, Israeli military spokesman Nir Dinar said Friday: “There are no safe zones.”

Some Palestinians who fled from the north appeared to be going back because of bombings and difficult living conditions in the south, said Ravina Shamdasani, spokesperson for the U.N. human rights office.

Gaza’s overwhelmed hospitals were rationing their dwindling resources.

Generators in Shifa Hospital, Gaza’s largest, were operating at the lowest setting to conserve fuel while providing power to vital departments such as intensive care, hospital director Mohammed Abu Selmia said. Others worked in darkness.

“I don’t know how long (the fuel) will last. Every day we evaluate the situation,” he said.

The lack of medical supplies and water make it difficult to treat the mass of victims from the Israeli strikes, he said.

The Palestine Red Crescent Society said it had received a threat from the Israeli military to bomb Al-Quds Hospital. It said Israel has demanded the immediate evacuation of the Gaza City hospital, which has more than 400 patients and thousands of displaced civilians who sought refuge on its grounds, it said.

Palestinians in Gaza reported heavy airstrikes in Khan Younis, a town in the territory’s south that is home to a squalid tent camp for displaced people. Ambulances carrying men, women and children streamed into the local Nasser Hospital.

Late Thursday, an Israeli airstrike hit a Greek Orthodox church in Gaza City housing displaced Palestinians. Gaza’s Health Ministry said 16 Palestinian Christians were killed. Former U.S. Rep. Justin Amash, a Libertarian from Michigan, said several of his relatives were among the dead. The military said it had targeted a Hamas command center nearby, causing damage to a church wall.

Work continued Friday to repair the road at the Rafah crossing with Egypt, Gaza’s only entry point not controlled by Israel. Trucks unloaded gravel, and bulldozers and other equipment were used to fill in large craters.

But there also appeared to still be differences over the manner of delivering aid. U.N. Secretary-General Antonio Guterres was working with Egypt, Israel, the U.S. and others to overcome the “impasse” preventing the trucks from entering, U.N. deputy spokesman Farhan Haq told reporters Friday.

Guterres wants to ensure “meaningful” numbers of trucks cross daily, that inspection of truck cargo is “expedited” and that U.N. authorities have fuel to distribute the supplies within Gaza.

More than 200 trucks and some 3,000 tons of aid were positioned near the crossing. Israel said the supplies could only go to civilians and that it would “thwart” any diversions by Hamas. It was unclear if fuel for the hospital generators would be allowed to enter.

An Egyptian official said two aid-packed trucks entered the Egyptian side of the border crossing early Saturday but did not pass through into Gaza. The official spoke on condition of anonymity because they were not authorized to speak with the media.

Israel has evacuated its own communities near Gaza and Lebanon, putting residents up in hotels elsewhere in the country.

Lebanon’s Hezbollah militant group, which has a massive arsenal of long-range rockets, has traded fire with Israel along the border on a near-daily basis and hinted it might join the war if Israel seeks to annihilate Hamas. Iran supports both armed groups.

Palestinian militants have launched unrelenting rocket attacks into Israel — more than 6,900 since Oct. 7, according to Israel — and tensions have flared in the Israeli-occupied West Bank.

Israel has targeted militants in raids across the occupied territory. On Friday, two Palestinian teenagers were killed in clashes in the West Bank, where more than 80 Palestinians have been killed over the past two weeks.

AP

RUSSIAN PERSPECTIVE

Russian forces destroy 500 combat aircraft in Ukraine operation, top brass reports

Russian forces have destroyed 500 Ukrainian combat aircraft and more than 250 helicopters since the start of the special military operation in Ukraine, Russia’s Defense Ministry reported on Friday.

"In all, the following targets have been destroyed since the start of the special military operation: 500 aircraft, 252 helicopters, 8,104 unmanned aerial vehicles, 441 surface-to-air missile systems, 12,778 tanks and other armored combat vehicles, 1,165 multiple rocket launchers, 6,837 field artillery guns and mortars and 14,463 special military motor vehicles," the ministry said in a statement.

Russian forces destroy 12 Ukrainian combat aircraft over past week

Russian forces destroyed 12 Ukrainian combat aircraft over the week of October 14-20, including seven enemy warplanes in the past 24 hours, the ministry reported.

"Fighter aircraft and air defense forces destroyed 12 airplanes over the past week by their effective operations, among them 10 MiG-29s [fighter jets] and two Su-25 attack aircraft, and also two Ukrainian Air Force Mi-8 helicopters," the ministry said.

In the last 24 hours alone, Russian air defense capabilities shot down seven Ukrainian MiG-29 fighters, the ministry reported.

WESTERN PERSPECTIVE

Ukraine repels new Russian onslaught on eastern front, Zelenskiy says

President Volodymyr Zelenskiy said on Friday Ukrainian forces had repelled a new Russian onslaught on the eastern town of Avdiivka and were holding their ground in heavy fighting.

Zelenskiy and top military commanders visited the southern region of Kherson, where they discussed the situation there and around Avdiivka and Kupiansk, a town north of Avdiivka where Russian forces have also intensified attacks.

"Thanks to all our boys, who powerfully hold the defence and destroy the occupier day after day," Zelenskiy said in a video posted on the Telegram messaging app.

"These days, the Russian losses are really staggering, and it is precisely losses by the occupier that Ukraine needs."

Zelenskiy's office said Russia's assault on Avdiivka had resulted in "record losses" of personnel and equipment, but gave no further details of the extent of the losses.

Reuters was unable to verify the battlefield situation.

Moscow has presented the situation around Avdiivka as more favourable for its forces, and each side has exaggerated the other's losses since Russia's invasion in February 2022.

The Ukrainian military said fighting was raging along the front line, with about 90 combat clashes in the past 24 hours. That compares with an average of about 60 daily clashes a week ago.

General Oleksandr Tarnavskyi, heading Ukraine's operations in the south, reported heavy attacks from both sides, with his forces conducting 1,500 firing missions in 24 hours. He provided no data for Ukraine's losses but said Russia lost 1,051 people, 143 pieces of military equipment and one ammunition depot.

"The new wave (of attacks) is as powerful as the one before on October 10 and 11," said Vitaliy Barabash, head of the Avdiivka military administration.

"It is very difficult. But the boys are holding out and repelled everything," he told Ukrainian television.

Avdiivka, home to a big coking plant, has long been under attack, has become a symbol of Ukrainian resistance and is seen as a gateway to the nearby Russian-held city of Donetsk.

Ukrainian forces have been making slow progress through vast Russian minefields in a counteroffensive that it began in the east and south in early June, but Russia has hit back hard around Avdiivka and Kupiansk.

Kyiv says the aim of the Russian attacks is to draw in Ukrainian troops from other fronts and to try to gain ground before winter sets in.

The Institute for the Study of War, a U.S. research group, said Ukrainian forces appeared to have broken through on the eastern bank of the Dnipro River in Kherson.

Kyiv has not commented on the report and Zelenskiy, who also visited the southern region of Mylokaiv, gave no details of the situation in Kherson.

Ukraine recaptured parts of the Kherson region late last year after months of Russian occupation. But Russian forces who left Kherson, the region's biggest city, retreated only as far as the other side of the Dnipro and shell the city from there.

Kupiansk, in the northeast, was also recaptured by Ukrainian troops late last year.

Tass/Reuters

Ruki, a tributary of the Congo River, has recently been dubbed the darkest river in the world, with water so dark that you can’t even see your face in front of you.

In what is considered the first-ever scientific study of the African river, scientists concluded that the dark-colored water is caused by the high levels of dissolved organic matter from the surrounding rainforest.

Scientists found that the color is caused by carbon-rich compounds leached out of rotting plant matter and washed into the Ruki River by rainwater and floods.

Travis Drake, lead author of the recently published study, said that the Ruki is “essentially jungle tea” in which carbon-rich plant matter is brewed. The resulting coloration of the water makes the Ruki darker than the Rio Negro.

“The organic compounds leached from this vegetation absorb light, so the higher the concentration, the darker the water will appear,” Drake said. “It would be like brewing an extra concentrated tea using many tea bags.”

Using a measurement system, the team of scientists ETH Zurich, in Switzerland, found that Ruki was 1.5 times darker than the Amazon’s Rio Negro, the world’s blackwater river. And although the Ruki only makes up a twentieth of the Congo Basin, it provides a fifth of all dissolved carbon in the Congo.

“The Ruki is one of the most DOC-rich river systems in the world,” Matti Barthel, the study’s co-author, said. Its water contains four times as many organic carbon compounds as the Congo’s and 1.5 times as much as the Rio Negro’s in the Amazon.

“We were struck by the color of the river,” said ETH Zurich researcher Travis Drake, adding that it is so dark that you literally can’t see your hand in front of your face.

Oddity Central

When telling the truth feels inconvenient, many people resort to less honest communication. They steer conversations away from certain topics, withhold key details, or sometimes they just flat-out lie.

As psychologists and professors of psychology, we wanted to look into the habits of proficient liars.

While writing our book "Big Liars: What Psychological Science Tells Us About Lying and How You Can Avoid Being Duped," we singled out some of the most common hidden traits and characteristics of especially successful liars.

Biggest signs that someone is lying

1. They are natural manipulators.

Good liars aren't nervous about manipulating others; rather, they are confident, dominant and relaxed as they exploit others.

2. They're great actors.

Lying, like other forms of impression management, is a game of projecting a specific version of oneself into the world. Good liars take the stage and play the role of an honest person.

3. They are adept at feigning emotions.

Whether expressing happiness, surprise, sadness or contempt, good liars can wrinkle their brows, raise their eyebrows, or bare their teeth in convincing ways that belie their true emotions.

Researchers have found that expressive people are viewed as likable, sympathetic, and honest.

4. They are prepared for the lie.

They rehearse and they plan. A well-prepared and organized narrative makes a lie seem natural and free from contradictions.

5. They say as little as is necessary.

The more a person speaks, the more they offer details that might undermine the lie. Effective liars say enough to be believed, but no more.

6. They are creative.

When being interrogated, you never know what question is going to come next, so the ability to create a realistic yet fake version of reality is imperative.

Those gifted with the facility to invent new ideas are the most successful.

7. They think fast.

People who take too long to respond or suddenly use time fillers, such as "um" and "uh," don't sound believable.

8. They have good memory.

When honest people are asked to recount a story on two separate occasions, they reconstruct a memory of what occurred. However, memory is imperfect and malleable, so their retelling often shifts and changes from one occasion to the next.

To avoid sounding dishonest, good liars avoid this reconstruction-on-the-fly strategy of storytelling. Instead, they focus on repeating the story as precisely as possible each time.

Their goal is to have zero variation between retellings. Zero variation means that listeners have no discrepancies to key in on.

9. They are good listeners.

They take the pulse of their audience, recognizing when their listeners want more information, when they are satisfied, when they start to grow suspicious, and when it is safe to change the topic.

They have learned to use deceit successfully to achieve their goals. If their lies consistently failed, they would likely abandon dishonesty and try something else.

How to avoid being lied to

One of the easiest ways to avoid being tricked is to verify their claims. Blatant lies often conflict with facts. Checking the facts leaves liars with less room to hide. When we lack evidence of a claim, we are less certain of its truthfulness.

In high stakes situations, such as banking transactions and car purchases, people demand proof of claims to avoid being fleeced by big liars.

Try to pay attention to the specific claims that are being made instead of the polished way they are being said.

Lies usually come crumbling down when we start probing and asking more questions about the parts that don't add up. If part of a story sounds just a little off, start scrutinizing the claim.

Lies often fall apart as soon as we start to scratch at the surface.

CNBC