Have you cried recently? When was the last time you cried? Do you mind telling me? You don’t remember. You haven’t cried in a while. I see. Yes, yes. The Ladder Café is open. Let’s go. Until I started this job, I wasn’t able to cry. But crying therapy has changed my body. It’s more emotional now. I don’t catch colds anymore. Crying has boosted my immune system. Good morning. Nice to meet you. When I was talking to people, I used to hide a little. But getting used to crying has helped me express my opinion more, be more myself. I’m Nakajima... I’m Yoshida, nice to meet you. [omit] Are you by yourself? Yes. There’s a camera today, they are doing a documentary about me. [writes: ‘Crying therapy’] Today, I am going to introduce you to crying therapy. Crying therapy is making yourself cry on purpose, 2-3 times a month, to detox your heart. So let me ask you: have you cried recently? Try to remember. Who cried yesterday? Last week? How about last month. No one! Last year? Japanese society doesn’t approve of tears. Men shouldn’t cry. You shouldn’t cry in public. Holding back tears is considered a virtue. But we now understand that crying is good for the body. People who weren’t crying want to try, and they ask me to teach them to improve their health. I play a variety of videos: about families, animals, sports… It could be an athlete winning a gold medal. For me, I like videos about grandmothers. Just seeing a grandmother makes me well up. It’s my weak spot. It hits home. It can be anything. That you are tired, or whatever stresses you out. Just write it down. Now put your complaints in this weeping box. My grandpa passed away three years ago. Whenever I was going through a rough patch, he’d always look out for me. Thank you for having my back. I want to make this cafe a crying cafe. It would be open all day and all night. Having been a tears teacher for 5 years, I’ve realised that there’s many people who want to cry. They come to me asking for a place to weep. I’m thinking of making a special Tears cocktail for the cafe, something blue. Above all, I want to make men in their 40s cry. I am myself 43, and I feel like men my age are really suffering. At work, they’re under pressure from older and younger colleagues, and stress builds up. My friend actually died from overwork. He kept saying how stressful his job was. I hadn’t started crying therapy yet, but I can’t help but think that if I’d given him time and space to cry, he would maybe still be alive. My dad? Yeah, he’s seen me at work. I needed a helping hand and asked him to attend a workshop. I was embarrassed, but he did say he was proud of my work. I looked at him after the workshop, but he turned away. He was crying. I think he was ashamed of crying in front of his son. Those are fake glasses. Do I look different? I don’t look like a weirdo? What’s different? I don’t know. But when I wear these, my state of mind changes. I need a different mindset to go outside and teach. I put on my public persona. I don’t have children. But if I ever do, I would teach them how meaningful crying is. You grow emotionally when you cry. In Japan, we say “a child who cries grows up healthy”. I think that when you cry, you learn about yourself. It’s important for people to stay vulnerable to live a fulfilling a life. When I have kids, I’ll teach them to cry regularly. Maybe we’ll watch movies together. That’d be nice.
New York Times
